Knock Knock. Who's there? ........ It turns out it was Helen Keller.

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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A platypus walks into a bar, and was the only mammal in the building capable of laying an egg.

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What do you call a white man takeing orders from a black man? Batman and robin

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what do a carrot and an elephant have in common? theyre both orange except for the elephant.

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How many dead babies does it take to paint a room? This is impossible as dead babies are incapable of achieving such a feat.

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casey, that is all, ruddel, that is all, hi mark

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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New groundbreaking research has just revealed today that a complex sentence can be used to manipulate the human mind, so in this sentence somewhere is a psychological amemphism that subconsciously hypnotises the mind into doing something within the next five seconds, and if you read this sentence over and over again, you might just spot it!

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What's as hard as rock and as light as a feather? Any object in the space, once the lack of gravity makes atoms to have not weight, since mass x gravity equals to weight.

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What did david give back? Nothing.

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Gotta go Mark Gotta go Mark MARK MARKMARKMARK! Moving at the speed of mark I'm the quickest mark around Got ourselves a mark Start getting a new mark Without any mark On top of mark! Go- Go- Go- Don't mark Don't mark Just markmarkmarkmark! mark, he's on the run mark, he's number one mark, he's coming next so watch out for mark X! Gotta go mark, gotta go mark mark mark markmarkmark Go go go go go go go go go! marrrrrkkk X!!

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Why did little Sally drop her ice cream? She got ran over by the school bus

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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What do you call an African American who flies a plane? A Pilot

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A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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What is worse than finding a dead baby in a dumpster? F*cking midgets

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why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

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who has less of a soul then you? a ginger

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2 guys walk into a bar the first gys says id like a beer the second guy says me to

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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A guy finds a lamp in the desert and rubs it 3 times.. No genie appears because there is no such thing as Magic.

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A black guy walks into a resturaunt. he finishes his drink, graciously tips the bartender and leaves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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