Bob has 80 chocolate bars, he gives 5 to his uncle,10 to his mother and 8 to his freind. He then eats 40 chocolate bars. Q. How many chocolate bars has bob got left now? A. Bob has no chocolate bars left. Shortly after Bob ate 40 bars he was diagnosed with diabetes. He then died of a heart attack due to high cholesterol.

What do you call a man with no legs, and one arm? Whatever his name happens to be.

As we had been trying for some months now, I called my wife to ask her the result of her pregnancy test. A stranger answered and promptly told me she was killed in a car crash.

hi

How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

old spice body spay is so powerfull it can block BO for 16 hours. its so powerfull it can turn of the sun, but then it gets to cold, so it makes another sun........DOUBLE SUN POWWWWWEEEERRRRRRR!!!

gay pom...

I'm attracted to you like the earth is attracted to the sun. With a force that is inversely proportional to the distance squared.

Some guy: Which of these is not delicious,watermelon,chicken,or kool aid. Black guy: What?

I used to think skyrim jokes were funny. Then I took an arrow to the knee.

Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

What's yellow and shouldnt be in this country. The asian girl in my economics class

what did the african boy get for christmas - not food

Why did the hipster burn his tongue? The tea he was drinking was at an unsuitable temperature for consumption resulting in the scalding of his mouth.

What do you call Jack Black on a bad day? Kevin Hart.

why didnt the guy go to work one morning he died in a car accident

Why did the goose cross the road? He was playing duck, duck, goose

What do you call a blonde with a Doctorate in Physics? Doctor (Dr).

Why did a man get fired from the M&M store? He was color blind.

What is black and white and cant get through revolving doors? A zebra with a spear through its head.

Why did Helen Kelley's dog run away I'd run away to if my name was. Ughgughgughgiggughfufh.

Why did Jenny fail her photography class? Because Jenny has epilepsy and she had a coma while taking the final exam. To this day Jenny is drain dead in the hospital.

Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

Why did the baby boy start crying? He got hit with a toaster

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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