When life gives you lemons, sell them. Rejoice in your free money.

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Why did the downtown New York worker never make it home? An airplane crashed into his office.

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A man invented a time machine that didn't work. Because he wasn't a scientist, he was an ice cream man.

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Roses are red Violets are blue life is a bitch and so are you

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Your mother is so stupid that she claimed the pole ran into her.

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I met a fat girl and fucked her on an elevator. . . It was wrong on so many levels.

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Why did the boy cry Because he fell

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: He was being taken to the slaughter house

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ive got nothing funny to say, so this is what its like to be a woman

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Q: yugdyijgdripgdghd A: sorry I'm retarted. I don't know wtf I'm doin

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Why is Evan short? He was born that way.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You're adopted.

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You see this dick stop being a spick now suck on my wee wee u prick

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Why couldn't the Asian couple have a white baby? Because two Wongs were mixed up in the paperwork so as a result the other Wong family ended up getting the child.

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What's funny about black people? The fact that they are all in prison for not being visible at night time.

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What did the lawyer name his daughter? Amanda.

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You are like really sincere aren't you? I really appreciate that in a friend. Thank you for being who you are Nero.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 is a registered sex offender.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Yes, it's actually very nice.

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One day a man was really horny and wanted to bang his wife that night, so he took soom horns and banged them against her skull until his wife bled to death. He was later sentenced for homocide and to this day has been in prison

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Knock knock Whos there? No one, your wife was just in a fatal car accident and died on the scene, so your kids had to walk home from school instead of being picked up. Your son Scotty was grabbed by the sexual predator 4 blocks from the school, and your daughter Sally tried to run and is now under the wheels on the bus going round and round.

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Why did the black man go to the store? To get milk and eggs because he was running out of those items

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Why did the chicken cross the road? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . His family was experiencing financial troubles, and needed money. He tried applying for many jobs, but they just didn't quite work out. After ending up in the drug business to support his family, a deal went bad and he was shot, landing him in the hospital. The night his family arrived to check on him, the same shooter made his way to his room, and murdered his wife and 3 children, and somehow managed to evade police. Months after this incident, Ralph, the same chicken who was in the hospital and witnessed his family's murder, was finally released. He had nothing to live for, nothing to look forward to in the future. He took up alcohol abuse for some time, until realizing what truly had to be done. He began tracking down his family's killer, and with each day spent, he became closer and closer to discovering the dealer's whereabouts. One day, he finally figured out who it was. As he arrived at the killers' home, he took one last deep breath, then stormed in. After fighting through many of the dealers' body-guards, Ralph finally reached the notorious drug dealing murder, Foghorn Leghorn. As a bloody battle ensued, it was clear who the winner would be.. As Ralph staggered out of the destroyed home, bloodied, yet victorious, he realized something. All the tracking, all the killing, all the bloodshed he had created, was all in vain. He realized that taking Foghorn's life didn't, and wouldn't, bring his family back. Finding himself dumbfounded, he began to trot, head down, through the field where the bad drug deal happened, almost a year ago now. He took one last deep breath, looked at the stars, and took his first step on the road. This was it he decided, he was finally going to reunite with his family again once more. As the headlights raced towards him, he heard his family in unison whisper to him "You're finally home Ralph, you're finally home."

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how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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