Why couldn't the teenage pirate get into the movie? Because he lacked the required money for the ticket.

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What's blue? The sky.

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Q: What do you call the first black guy who swam in the ocean? A: Triangle.

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What is the difference between a mexican and a bench? One is living, one is not.

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Why did the airplane crash? The pilot was a tomato!!

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Q: Have you heard from that guy who dropped a piano on his head? A: No one has, he dropped a piano on his head.

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Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

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I have two coins in my hand that add up to 30 cents, and one of them is not a nickel. I accidentally dropped them.

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What's large and blue? Probably quite a few things.

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How do you kill a bunch of flies in one swat? Smack an African kid in the face.

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because the Nazis were on the brink of losing the war and Berlin was shortly to be captured by Soviet forces.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Biting into an orange and finding Helen Kellar

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Whats small and has Aids? Avery..

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How do you know what time it is in the dark? Turn on the light and look at the clock.

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Guy 1: Hey look under there Guy 2: Under what inanimate object that is physically visible and made up of atoms

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* anti-punchline

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's raape?

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I used to be an adventurer like you...but then I was diagnosed with cancer.

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I thoroughly dislike arabs, I lost both my parents in the events of 9/11.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are about to be executed by a firing squad. Before they shoot the brunette, they ask if she was any last words. “Look, a tornado!” Then they shoot her.

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Q: What's so funny about medical records? A: You're not the one dying.

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I bit a horses leg. Why? Because I thought i was a vampire. I also bit my sisters glodfish in half.. Why? Cause I wanted revenge on my sister.

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If 6 is afraid of 7, what is 7 afraid of? ...Chuck Norris.

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One day, an Irishman, a Jew and an American were walking home from a long game of golf. "God, that was a long game" said the American, to which the Irishman replied "aye, that it was." The Irishman then turned to the Jew, and asked him how he managed to get two birdies in succession. The Jew, after a moment of deliberation, began to explain. "Well, it all began when I was six. See, there was a mountain right next to Casparia, the village I lived for most of my life back in Wales. Every day, I'd come back from school, and ask my dad why nobody ever attempted to scale the mountain. 'To do so would be an unnecessary risk, son, and people are too busy working to put food and water on the tables for their families to undertake something so foolish.' One night, when insomnia was getting the better of me, I decided to get a better look at the mountain, so I strapped on my boots, my fur coat and some woolly mittens and left for the mountain. After a few hours of walking, I approached the closest hill which gave me a perfect view of the mountain's first peak, and there I spotted a polar bear, mauling a hiker to death." The Jew paused to check the Irishman and the American were following, when the American spoke up; "hold on there, there aren't any polar bears in Casparia!" The Irishman also spoke up; "there isn't even a village called Casparia, well, anywhere!" The Jew smiled slightly, and a few seconds later the smile broke out into a gigantic grin, and he finally replied: "exactly".

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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