Nicki Minaj walks into a bar... there's no punchline because ruining music isn't funny.

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What did the man in need of a prosthetic arm get from the hospital? A diagnosis for cancer.

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Person 1: Hey how's your day? Person 2: Good Person 1: Cool

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What's the difference between a fat man and a little boy? Despite the fact that they were dropped on two different cities, one was made out of uranium, the other was made out of plutonium.

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What's red and bad for your teeth? A brick

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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't rob a bank! That's a felony. ;)

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What's black and white and red all over? I don't know I asked you

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Your mama is so stupid she has an IQ lower than an average person.

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Your mom is so ignorant that she in completely unaware how the premature termination of QE2 in conjunction with a potential US credit downgrade could substantially impact her fixed income portfolios and hinder her ability to retire in the desired time frame.

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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What do you get when you cross a surfer and a black man? An angry surfer and an angry black man. You really should be nicer to people.

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what's up? my penis.

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This is no joke. Well, I did warn you.

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Beating cancer. Guess Steve Jobs they didn't make an app for that.

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George Washington, a priest, a nazi and a jew are on a plane that's going to crash. There is only one parachute. George Washington says "For my country" and jumps off without a parachute. The priest says "For God" and jumps off without a parachute. The nazi says "For Hitler" and pushes the jew off and takes the parachute.

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Why did the man answer his cell phone at 3 AM in the morning? Because his phone was ringing and was probably waiting for an important phone call

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Q: What kind of bees make milk? A: None. Bees make honey, not milk.

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What happens when you wake a sleepwalker? Waking sleepwalkers does not harm them. While it is true that a person may be confused or disoriented for a short time after awakening, this does not cause them further harm. In contrast, sleepwalkers may injure themselves if they trip over objects or lose their balance while sleepwalking. Such injuries are common among sleepwalkers.

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What is worse then finding repeated jokes on anti jokes? finding a womr in your apple

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what's grosser then 1000 babies stapled to a tree?? 1 baby stapled to 1000 trees

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roses are red violets are blue corey mills is and got raped by you

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How do you teach an old dog a new trick? Answer: You can't

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What did the black guy who was lost in Syria say? "Where am I?"

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A man walks into a bar and approaches a man "Ask me if I'm a tree." "Fine.Are you a tree?" "No."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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