Hey guys! Today is September 10th you know what tomorrow means? Party at my house! ...What? It's my birthday.

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What do you call a guy with a bomb strapped to his chest flying a plane? A pilot with a bomb strapped to his chest

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What's big and green and would probably kill you if it fell out of a tree? A pool table.

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Thats what she said

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What did the business man say to the homeless person? Get a job

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Okay I have knock knock joke but u have to start it. Okay Knock knock Who's there (akward silence)

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Once there was a frog. My parents died.

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Two guys walk into a bar; A Mexican and a Canadian. The Mexican guy says "Bartender, give me a 2 shots of Tequila, por favor". The Canadian guy says "Bartender, give me a shot of Club and a Molson, eh". They continue to drink until neither can feel the crippling pain of their mundane lives - then they each leave the bar, walk home and sleep alone.

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What did the Cat get for Christmas? Nothing cats don't celebrate Christmas

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A: When was rhe last time you touched yourself? B: A few seconds ago when I had an itch on my arm

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why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side. wow i missed the entire purpose of this.

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So your driving your brick car and the steering wheel falls off. So how many pancakes does it take to fill your dog house? 12 because hamsters don't wear shoes

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--- ___________________--- Can you tell what it is? Yes... Then what is it? Its a blanket,duh! ......

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wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

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justin bieber is a good singer april fools haha you thought hell had frozen over

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What do you call an iphone in a puddle? Broken

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That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

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What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

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what's orange, round, that like to play and kill poeple and not in a video game? a) a freaking orange b) a super ball c) a dog painted in orange d) samus aran e) none of the previous answer

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Why did the audience leave disappointed? Low budget and poor directing.

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i hate this glue. give me one new or i will poo.

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Q: Why did Frank have a big horse named Bubba? A: He was allergic to cats

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text your mom saying you need help, then turn on vibrate and shove the phone up your ass.

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops