A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

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What did the man with no arms say to the jewish man? I have no arms.

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why do jews have such big noses? A: it has been inherited through many generations

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Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

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You wanna hear a joke? People that debase womens' rights.

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What's the difference between a baby and an onion? One is a vegetable and the other is a human being.

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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Why did the woman make a sandwich? Because she was hungry.

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Whats black and blue and doesnt bruise? a bruise.

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What's worse than finding half a worm in your apple? Being cut in half by a human while you were trying to eat an apple

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A have a black guy in my family tree. He married my cousin a few years back

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Why didnt the homeless man eat the cheese? Because he died right before he ate it. :-(

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Why was sally mopping the floor? Because she was a slave

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Where did the Smith family spend their weekend together? At the father's funeral.

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What did the Dementia sufferer get for Christmas?

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how many birds did chuck norris kill with one stone? one.

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A man walks into a bar, he then gets a giant bump on his head as he passes out and is rushed to the hospital.

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A horse walks into a bar. bar tender: "Why the long face" *bu dum tss" horse: "My wife died of terminal cancer."

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Whats slippery and wet? A wet slipper.

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What did Sam Houston Say to Jim Bowie when he say all the Mexicans coming Towards the Alamo? That's a lot of Mexicans.

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Two guys went to a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure" said the guys. The bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? "Sure said the guys" At this point, the bartender started telling: Anyway, there was this time two guys at a bar, and the bartender said, hey you guys want to hear a funny joke? (when you are done start reading from the top again, and don't stop ever)

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead. Why did the chicken fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the monkey.

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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If Chuck Norris were to roundhouse you. Then something previously happened before the altercation, that caused tension.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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