Two Drunks walk out of a bar. They look down an alley and see a dog licking his balls. The first drunk says" Man, I wish I could do that." The second guy replies " Well you better pet him first."

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What happened to truck full of watermelons careening down the hill? After panicking, the driver was able to gain composure, and shifting the truck into a lower gear, was able to deliver the track safely to the side of the road at the bottom of the ill, where he sat down alongside of the road under the shade of an apple tree, sucking on delicious watermelon.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

I really want to wear my Christmas leggings Actually I lied about the leggings, they're tights I love anal

thumb_up thumb_down +7

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many mentally challenged beings does it take to screw in a light bulb? Well one couldn't do it so adding more to the equation will only make it worse sir.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How did Helen Keller's parents discipline her? Hopefully not too sternly. There's not much trouble a blind and deaf girl can get into, one would imagine.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

This Anti-Joke Is Loading Plese Wait . . .

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why is elmo sad? He was brutally raped by Dora :D

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Is your refridgerator running? good, because if it wasn't then your food would spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did Little Jimmy cross the road? Little Jimmy doesnt have arms and legs, silly, he cant cross the road.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Knock knock. Who's there? The police. You wife was killed in an accident.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How many dead babies does it take to fill a bathtub? 17.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

Why was Helen Keller's leg yellow? Because her dog was blind too.

thumb_up thumb_down +7

How do you stop an ice cream headache? Run in front of a bus.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Chuck Norris shaves with his fists. That's why he still has a beard.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Hey I just met you and this is crazy, I am pregnant and that's yo baby !

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I once had a friendly cohort, whose limericks often ran short, but this one doesn't, I don't know why, Also, he often can't rhyme.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Deja moo: The feeling you've heard this bull before.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Friends are like trees. They fall when hit multiple times with an axe.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

You have small feet Do you know what small feet mean Small shoes

thumb_up thumb_down +5

I was gonna tell a gay joke Butt fuck it.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops