Two dogs are sitting by a fire hydrant. One turns to the other and says absolutely nothing because dogs can't speak.

How did the black man get a car? He bought it.

What did the dog say to the other dog? Were both dogs!

Roses are red, violets are blue you may not know this but I'm falling for you . <3

The early bird gets the worm. The rest of them die of starvation.

What does an elephant and a plum have in common? They are both purple... except for the elephant

Q: Why is six afraid of seven? A: Why??? Q: Idk, thats why I asked

waiter! waiter! theres a fly in my soup! the waiter immediately retrieved a new soup and gave them a 50% discount for the misshap.

A White guy, Asian guy, and Black guy walk into a bar, and the Black guy wins the joke, as to not be racist.

What's brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

Why did Sara fall off the swing? -She had no arms *Knock Knock* Who's there? -Not Sara!

What do you call a black guy with no hair? Bald

Why did the kid take the trash out to the movies? Because his mum said take out the trash

What's long, brown, and runs across a family's backward? A fence.

What do you give a man who has everything? Syphilis

how many babies does it take to fill up a blender? None. they all died before being put in a blender.

how do you kill a rat skin it and feed it to your child and wait till it shits then when it shits feed it to your dog then when it shits then microwave it and shove the smelly liquid remains up your ass.

what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile. get in the batmobile.

Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

yo momma so fat. that shes fat

There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

what do you call a mexican whos lost his car? nothing, nick ate him

"Almost as accidental as your spelling I'm afraid." -...

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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