How do you kill a blue elephant? With a blue elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? Spray paint it blue then shoot it with a blue elephant gun

What did the Asian man say when he got a math problem wrong? Damn it

Jesus can walk on water, but Chuck Norris can swim on land... it's called having a swimming pool

LO LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOPLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOLLOLOLOLOLOLOLOOO O O O O O O OLO LOL OL O LO LO LO L OL -LOL GUY

Without geometry life would be pointless

How do you get a nun pregnant? You practice unprotected sex with her.

Whats Worse that 10 babies stapled to 1 tree? 1 Baby stapled to 10 trees

A man told his wife to go make him a sandwich. She said no.

What do you call a black guy in a Walmart? A customer. You prejudice dullard!

Why did Billy die? His mother killed him.

Knock! Knock! "It's open!"

Why was the Jamaican man smoking pot? His doctor prescribed it. The man has a serious case of glaucoma.

What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

Q: Why did the lady retire? A: Because she had been working for numerous years and felt that she needed to spend more time with her family.

Yo momma is so ugly, that your father can no longer stand her. They are getting divorced.

Why cant jonny walk? He has no legs.

roses are red, violets are blue, ive no money for presents, happy christmas everybody

Roeses are red lemons are sour open your legs and give me an hour

Why are pigs smelly ? Because a cucumber can't walk.

What's blue and smells like red paint? That blue guy from Megamind.

Why can't Helen Keller conduct a Train. Because she is dead.

What did the hedgehog say to the beaver? Nothing, they can't talk.

How many eskimos does it take to build an igloo? It depends... probably about six or seven.

A wise man once said, "I am wise".

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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