Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

Why did the monkey fall from the tree? Because he died.

what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

three blondes are walking along the beach on a desert island, they each have plans to escape. The first swims off the island but is swept in with the current back to land The second blonde burns an SOS into the sand using a rock and twigs-the wind blows it out The third, realising how immature her freinds were, reaches into her pocket and pulls out her mobile phone and begins dialling the coast guard.

Paragnormal Activity: The confused sequels. My wife literally had an heart attack 5/5! -Awesome reviews. I am going to need therapy for the rest of my life! 5 out of 5 stars! -Star reviews THIS MOVIE KILLED MY DOG! 4.5/5 -Petlovers I literally died! 10/10 -Rotten Potatoes.

how does stephen hawking get an erection? he turns off his pop-up blocker

How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

Cancer.

What do you get when you cross your eyes? A headache.

Yo Mama is so white, people call her caucasian.

wanna hear a joke? woman's rights.

What happened to the man who bought his son a birthday gift? He eventually was robbed and shot in the face

lybia

What do you get when you cross a turkey with a turtle? A bunch of nosy ass people wondering wtf you're doing.

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

(This poem is written by a dog) Roses are gray Violets are a different shade of gray Let's go chase cars

What do you get when you cross professor plum with a candle stick in the library? A dead prostitute. Try and be more careful next time.

What do you call a person with disabilities? Names.

What did one cat say to the other cat? Meow. What did one dog say to the other dog? Meow. Why was the man sad? He had a retarded dog.

Why did the black man walk into a bar? To order a drink.

Q. What did the pedophile get when he went to jail? A. Exactly what he wanted.

why are black people good at sports? because i f***ed your mom

Why was little Sammy crying? because she had a frog stapled to her forehead

yomamas so fat it made Ben kanobi say thats no moon thats yo mama!

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...