Q: What did the prostitute ask the officer? A: Where were you stationed? I have a lot of respect for our boys in the Middle East.

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Why are apathy,ignorance, and resentment alike? I dont know and I don't care to know.

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Whats the similarity between a bike and a black person? They are both stolen

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What's similar between a boat and a plane? Both can fly except for the boat

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A horse walks in a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?"..... The horse incapable of understanding the humane language promptly poos on the floor and leaves.

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Q:What does a virgin and a penny both have in common? A:Guys don't want them.

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Why are plants green? Plants are green due to the chloroplast organelles found in their cells. These membrane bound organelles are exclusive to plant cells and are used to convert sun light to usable chemical energy. This energy is stored in the form of ATP molecules, or adenosine triphosphate. When one of the three phosphate groups of an ATP molecule is removed, the molecule releases the energy put into this bond and becomes ADP, or adenosine diphosphate. Throughout this process, the organelle fulfills its sole function and at the same time gives plants their green color our eyes perceive today.

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A Chinese man a Mexican and an American are all on a plane. They are all trying to get rid of stuff they have to much of in their country. The chinese man throws out a bowl of rice and says " we have to many of these in our country" the mexican throws out a taco and says " we have to many of these in our country" the American throws out the mexican and says "we have to many of these in our country"

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This stuff on espn about Jason Collins is very gay

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What's red and invisible? We don't know that it's red.

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? So he could get back before curfew.

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Why did the plane crash? because the pilot was a tomato

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Yo mama's so white, she's an albino!

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A Trampoline.

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why did dinosaurs get extinct? i don't know i was not there to see it!!!!!!!!!

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1: Knock, knock 2: Go away!

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It's like they always say, you get what you pay for. Unless your a woman, then you get what other men pay for.

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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What's so sad about a bus with mentally handicapped children falling off a cliff? There was one empty seat.

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Why couldn't the ten-year-old get into the pirate movie? Because it was rated PG-13

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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What's worse then the holocaust? The sun exploding.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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