how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

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Why did the cow jump over the moon? To see outer space

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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How much wood would a wood-chuck chuck, If a wood chuck could chuck wood? A full study has never been commissioned into the amount of wood chucked by a groundhog and thus far remains an unknown quantity. ls

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I want to make a lamp shade out of your skin, because you light up my life.

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A jew, a catholic, and a muslim walk into a bar. Within minutes, they begin to argue about religion. After a few hours of intense debate, all three left dissatisfied and upset.

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There are 2 carrots sitting in a basket. One carrot says to the other; I'm a carrot! The other carrot does not reply, because carrots do not speak. Now consider the possibility, that the first carrot was a talking monkey.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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How do you get a one armed clown out of a tree? Hit it in the face with an axe.

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I was trying to think of a joke to write, but then I became unsatisfied with my creativity and began to spiral into a depressing tangent of thoughts. I just took 37 Ambien, and have approximately ten minutes to live. Instead, I will spend my last moments writing goodbye messages to friends on Facebook and longingly looking at images of the past. Goodbye, world.

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What happen to the girl that did the splits. Her legs broke.

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Why couldn't the hobo buy any clothes? They did not have his size available.

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Whats worst than being raped by a black guy? Being raped by two black guys? You racist i'm calling the police.

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a man walks into a library Who the hell reads

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Pickles.

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Ask me if I'm God.. Dude, we all know you're not God.

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A man walks into a bar. He says "ow."

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what's worst then having no internet access for a year? having no facebook notifications when you finally do

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Why did the elephant cross the road? It was being poached

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What’s worse than being ruled by Adolf Hitler? Being ruled by Joseph Stalin.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for his birthday? A baseball, bat, and a glove.

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OOOOPPS /

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Knock knock. Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? Doctor Brown, I have your test results, you've HIV positive.

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a boy meets a girl the rest is censored

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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