What did the teacher say to the boy whose dog had just died? Haha, your dog just died.

why did the chicken cross the bread? because chicken salad

What's long and black? A 12 inch black dick.

What's worse than 13 babies stapled to one tree? One baby stapled to 13 trees...

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The chicken didn't cross the road. Therefor, there is no why.

What's worse than getting a fly stuck up your nose? Been alone in a hospital room with Jimmy Saville.

A: Knock, knock. A: Knock, knock! A: Um ... Knock, knock! B: Sorry, I didn't want to answer the door.

What did Britney Spears say to the Mexican? Hit me baby Juan more time.

How many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? That would depend on the individual situation at hand and to assume you could accurately estimate that is ridiculous.

Q. want to hear a really funny joke? A. Fred Figglie-horn

what did the child say to his mother? daddy raped me!

i am not a pothead!!! the only time ive evr been high was springbreak last year!!! mm hmm... wat were u doin over spring break to get high? i had jaw surgery and the doctor had me on tons of painkillers

Continents are large islands.

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A pizza is a tasteful meal and a Jew is a person of Israeli decent.

"The Civil War wasn't won in a day, it was won in a lifetime." -Marc Cruz

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

When life gives you lemons. Don't take things from strangers

woman..parallel parking

what is big, white, and can't climb a tree? a fridge

What's a pirates favorite element the periodic table? Gold.

Why did John kill Maris? Because Maris killed his family.

What do you call three Asian people eating a cat? A tragic last resort for a starving family.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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