Maybe we simply need to keep the door open, but one cannot bring happiness to others, until one is happy oneself. Do I change something within you Red?

why does her hair shine so nicely? she uses good shampoo.

In my eyes Nero, you are much like a philosopher, the kind which are mocked while they live, and then a couple thousands years later, are recognized as the most intelligent beings of their time.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Lettuce. THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE! AAAAHHHH!

do,Nt loagh at me I has dislecqsia

Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

A man walks into a bar, drinks a few beers, then calls a taxi to take him home because he knew the risks of drunk driving.

Why did the fat kid fall of his bike? The skinny kid pushed him off!

Why did the little girl drop her ball? Because she was done playing with it.

What's 9 + 10 19

Is this the krusty Crab? No you idiot this is a phone!!!!!

This is the worst anti-joke on the entire site. Just look at all the thumbs down!

What do you get when you cross a rock and a paper bag? A rock inside of a paper bag.

Friends are like snowflakes When you pee on them they disappear

A Brunette, a Redhead and a Blond all jump off a cliff, which one will hit the ground last? Since the acceleration of gravity is 9.8 m/s they will all hit the ground simultaneously and with enough force to completly shatter their bodys making body recovery extreemly difficult. They must have had a hard life.

What does a homeless guy do when he's hungry ? Nothing, he has no food.

Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiot's house... Knock knock Who's there? The Chincken

What did the mute boy get for his birthday? i dont know he didnt tell me

John has 7 apples and Lisa has 4 apples John eats 3 apples and Lisa eats 1 apple and give another to John Their diets lacks various essential nutrients

What time is it? I just looked at my clock on the wall. It is 9:14 AM Eastern Standard Time.

how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

Why did Suzie fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. Knock knock! Who's there? Not Suzie

Why did the chicken cross the road? For a legitimate reason

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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