a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

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What do you call two banana's on someone's feet? Garbage.

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What do you call a seagull that flew into the bay? Wet.

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Whats 2+1? 2.

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What did the woman say to her rapist? I've had better.

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What do you call a muslim in an airplane? Whatever his name may be, though you could, of course, choose not to address him, though if it were a two-seater plane, it would be good manners to exchange polite conversation.

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What do you call a midget driving a train? A conductor

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I Have a Black Friend

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Yo mamma is so fat She has to wear big pants and is easily fatigued.

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A young farmers cow died in an oil burning, The farmer then said to his son; you get the milk ill get the shovel

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Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

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Q: what is blue and floats in a pool? A: a baby Q: what is purple and at the bottom of the pool? A: the baby 5 minutes later

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Knock Knock Whos there? It was the unexpected arrival of his wifes lover who'd been having an affair with her for over a year She thought her husband would be out and forgot to tell him not to come The husband started breaking down in tears whilst throwing insults at both of them, grabbing the man by his collar and throwing him on the ground he started to kick his head in The man died and the husband and wife divorced, theres now a bench in the mans local park dedicated to him.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A zebra that's been brutally cut open.

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Peg leg Pete, yay, I know stuff too, I watched that one all the time when I was a girl.

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A fireman walks into a bar. Everyone has burned alive already, and he's too late to save them.

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How many frogs does it take to change a light bulb None. Frogs lack the cranial capacity to change said lightbulb. If eventually by evolution they become smart enough to change lightbulbs, they may learn to handle machinery and pose a real threat to humans.

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what did the blind, deaf, retarded child, without any arms or legs get for Christmas? nothing, his parents are dead

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Q. What's short and black A. A little black kid

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What's the difference between a smart blonde and bigfoot? There's been sittings of bigfoot

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every 60 seconds in Africa, a minute goes by.

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What does a carrot and a potato have in common? They're both not chocolate

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What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? She was a donut.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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