A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

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A man walks into a bar, and he died.

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Q: What do is it called when Justin Bieber has sex with a woman? A: Why give it a name when it is never goin to happen!

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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A blonde drank an entire fruit smoothie in one sitting. She got a brain freeze.

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If a vegetarian only eats vegetables, then what does a humanitarian eat?

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Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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/\ The joke above was really dumb. \/ The joke below is pretty good.

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What's fat and ugly? Your face ... But only if its fat and ugly

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A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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So a person asked a blonde in America which was closer: the Moon or Canada? The blonde responded "Canada"

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun And you don't,

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How do you pick up girls in Auschwitz? With a dustpan

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A man walked into a pole barn oh wait I meant a pole bar so it actually hurt.

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"This is Jesus Christ to Tim Tebow. Please leave me alone. Don't you know that my day off, is Sunday?"

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If Oscar Meyer had a dog, what breed would it be? A golden retriever.

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What did the anorexic girl say to the skilled psychologist? Fuck off you'll never understand me.

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Why did Moses part the sea Because it was divisible by 2

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Womens basketball

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Mitt Romney

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Knock Knock? Who's there? (No answer)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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