knock knock... who's there? your grandmother, now please let me in it's very cold outside. *you now proceed to open the door for your grandmother as she is elderly and you dont want her to freeze

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Why did the boy die? He had cancer.

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What did the boy dog say to the girl dog? Ruff

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A lady walks into her bedroom and sees her boy friend having sex with another girl. She hears the phone ring and a voice says "your grandma died".

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Why didn't the cat eat its dinner? Because I nailed its head to the floor.

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Kys

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Every circle of friends has a "crazy one". If you can't figure out who the "crazy one" in your group is... Try harder. Either that or you are a terrible judge of character.

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How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He died! Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was attached to the first! Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He thought it was a game! Why did the fridge fall out of the tree? The branch broke! Why did Sally fall off her bike? She got hit by three monkeys and a fridge!

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How do you have problems paying your monthly mortgage if you live in a box emmanuel

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Yo mama's so fat that she has a heart condition.

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I america you read books. But in Soviet Russa, Books read YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!

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What's the difference between a dead baby and a carpet? I don't sell carpets.

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A guy forgot his 20th wedding anniversary. His wife was really mad, and said that she better have something in the driveway that goes from 0 to 350 in 10 seconds, and he quickly pulled out an AK-47 and murdered her violently.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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whats the best thing ever to happen to chuk norris ? he was born !!!!

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What do you call Helena… A Shady palm tree

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what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

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Q: What is worse than a dead baby in a trashcan? A: A dead baby in 10 trashcans.

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What's white and hides in a tree. A refrigerator.

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What did the black man see when he looked in the mirror? His reflection.

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Your friend is so retarded I am getting a bit worried and his mother should take him to get tested for mental retardation.

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How do you make people run? When someone is behind you, hold the door open and wait.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a sociopathic murderer.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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