2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting at your doorstep? matt what do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the water? bob what do you call a man that just had his daughter taken away from him? ...sam

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Want to hear the story about how I got put in prison? So I have an odd bunch of friends: one of them is Polish and he works at a call centre, the other is a slave trader and his name is Richard. We tend to meet outside our Polish friend's house to speak or to do "business" when need be (I run errands for Richard) and the other day that's where I got asked to kidnap an American. "That's strange" I thought, but nevertheless I went out and took the American from his house and carried him over in a sack over to our meeting place. I handed him over and sneaked off as soon as I could, thinking I was home free. But I wasn't. The police turned up all angry like. There were witnesses. Turns out a bunch of kids saw me giving Dick a Yank next to the telephone Pole.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "why the long mane?"

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A: Do you like it B: No

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What does a scouter say about his power level? It's over 9'000!!!!!!!!!

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What do you call Bilbo Baggins when you use him for pleasure? Dildo Baggins

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What's the difference between an eight year old girl and a Jew? Only one comes back from camp.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Cement is grey, Shoes are myriad colors, but usually white, black, or brown, depending on their use, And I love you.

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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Chuck Norris can right-click with a mac mouse

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The queen having a shit

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why did the duck swim upside-down -he was on quack

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24

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Why couldn't Hellen Keller drive? She didn't own a car.

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What did the phone say to the man? Ring ring.

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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what do you get when you cross a broken arm and a broken leg? .... a broken head.

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What do you call a man with no home or family? Charles Manson…He currently resides in jail.

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Knock, Knock.. Whose there? Its the Census Man!!

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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what has 2 legs and bleeds? Half a dog.

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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What did the suspicious Hunchback say? I've got a hunch.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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