What did the Jewish man get for Christmas? Jews don't celebrate Christmas, therefore nothing

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Why did the boy throw the clock out of the window? Because it was broken.

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Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: Cause he felt like it.

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On the next line im going to write a joke: George W. Bush

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What is worse than menopause? Falling down the stairs breaking your next....

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What do you get when you cross drugs with a bathtub? Whitney Houston's worst nightmare

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What's the difference between a guitar and a fish? Fish are living organisms and guitars are instruments used for people's entertainment

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Who job is it to protect the forest? Obiously a male and/or female forest ranger of smokey the bear. It's that simple.

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"Oren" Tifa is not around here, besides she does not like you anymore, get lost you wacko!

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why was the old man cold? ...WHY?

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Knock knock? Who's there? Cancer Cancer who? After some time and various bouts of radiation and chemotherapy, he finally lost his life to the terrible disease.

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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-Why did the man sue the train driver after he witnessed his friends death? -Because he was owed a duty of care.

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And the guy who played Trapper John on MASH wins the coveted 'Last Famous TV Person to Die in 2015' award!!! Woooooooo!!!!

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Q. What's worse than 9/11? A. That one shark jumping episode of Happy Days.

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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Barack Obama, Mother Teresa and Stephen Hawkings had race. Who won? Barack Obama. This deduction can be made as Stephen Hawking is severely disabled by a motor neurone disease known as amyotrophic lateral sclerosis. Henceforth, he has very limited control over the majority of his body and is confined to a electric wheel chair. Thus, he could not participate competitively in the race. Moreover, Mother Teresa is dead. This unfortunate occurrence was caused by several myocardial infarctions in combination with pneumonia. Regardless of this, Mother Teresa's meek and frail build would slower her speed considerably; in comparison to Barack Obama's relatively athletic and robust frame. Nonetheless, President Obama is a smoker. Therefore, he may experience symptoms associated with emphysema during the race, causing him to retire. As such no-one would finish the race, leaving the spectators feeling very disappointed and empty.

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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Yo mama so fat, she should see a doctor to discuss healthier lifestyles.

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Why did the boy fail his test? Because he got shot before he could even study.

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What did the lawyer say to the lawyer We are both lawyers

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your momma is so fat that when she steps on the scale it shows that she is overwhieght

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What goes 100 miles per hour and screams? A baby attached to a ceiling fan.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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