Why did the pumpkin stop using the jack hammer? Pumpkins cannot use power tools since they are nothing but orange gourds. But, [for sport] say this ‘pumpkin’ was incarnate; one could assume he was done with his demolition work. He then would return the portable drill to the rental facility and get his deposit back.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's Red and bad for your teeth? A Brick

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Simon walks into a bar. He orders his favorite beer. The bartender says "Hey Simon, I see you're back with the usual, aye?" Simon says "Touch you tongue to your elbow." The bartender couldn't do it.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the girl crying? DEEZ NUTS!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

thumb_up thumb_down +4

How many moose does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, it is biologically and theoretically impossible for a moose to climb a ladder and screw in a light bulb.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Fill in the _________ Ans: Cup Posted By: Lram

thumb_up thumb_down +4

"Solids tunderf" he said, while chewing his gum.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did little Susie give to young Billy on Christmas? Genital Herpes.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

why did the owner of Google decide to name the company "Google"? google it..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

.......ah shit i forgotten the joke

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did Mufasa miss his doctor's appointment? Because he was trampled to death by wildebeest

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do potatoes wear to bed? Potatoes don't sleep and don't wear clothes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

I'vegto a riddel for you;l Do siolve it. during the day... I look liek a snake By night?///////////////// What ams i? Rack your brains

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's got one leg and no eyes? A leg.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Thanks I guess, I do look a lot like that anime, except my eyes are not giant and I got lips and you know about everything else is different, besides I wear blue or brown contact lenses Ohh, and in case you had not already noticed, I dye my hair brown, believe me, there is enough red in me to go around already... Nero huh? Angelo Nero? So what kind of sick parents did you really have, or do you have? This is weird, you suddenly got even more interesting Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

hey did you hear about Osama bin laden? He was found by the CIA and killed on account of his atrocious actions.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops