Q. What do you call a deceased rodent A. Deadmau5

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the bird fall down? It got shot.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

I came home from my doctor`s appointment today, I told my sister that I was diagnosed with The Super rare "Spontaneous Erections Syndrome" (S.E.S) a very rare disease that can seriously impair the victims life in general, especially the social life, as symptoms may show themselves even among friends, pets, grandmas, enemies, and even close family! She told me that everybody knows I a just a kinky pervert with bulge so big it scared girls away instead of attracting them. Excuse me, what the hell is patient confidentiality good for if my doctor is going to call my sister and tell her everything she said to me afterwards?!

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Patient: "So what seems to be the problem doc? Doctor: "I'm afraid you have AIDS. I'm sorry."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's the best part of any family reunion? Sodomy.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Sally fall off a tree? She wanted to get down

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What's harder than winning an argument with a woman. Lonsdaleite which has recently been declared the hardest substance known to man, and can withstand 58% more stress than the hardest diamond crystal.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

minorities

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Last Christmas I gave you my pie but the very next day you put it in your tummay. Now your dead because I poisoned the pie.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Do you like fishsticks No

thumb_up thumb_down +32

whats worse than forgetting your lunch at home? getting diagnosed with type 1 diabetes.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why couldn't Sophie brush her hair? She had Leukemia

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Have you ever seen the episode of the powerpuff girls where they save the day?

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy wishes the same.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Q: Why couldn't the man get laid? A: Women were afraid of his 7 testes and 4 penises.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What do you call a mexican man working at a Taco Bell? A young man freshly out of high-school, who could not get into college because his family is sadly struck with poverty. He also has a baby on the way, due to his poor choice of not using protection when having relations with his girlfriend while he was intoxicated. I wish him the best of luck!

thumb_up thumb_down +30

What is the best way to run a race? Start out fast, run fast in the middle, and finish fast.

thumb_up thumb_down +30

why was the woman afraid of her bestfriend he raped her

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Man walks into a bar and goes, "Ouch!"

thumb_up thumb_down +30

Your momma is so stupid, because she didn't get a proper education

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Know whats worse than a worm in your apple? Getting fridges thrown at you.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

How did the retarded, blind child win the Special Olympics? He didn't, he died of terminal lung cancer the year before. R.I.P.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Knock knock Who's there? The Gestapo, time to go to Auschwitz.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

thumb_up thumb_down +28

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops