Why did the chicken cross the road? Chickens don't have the cognitive capacity to reason. So you'd never know

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VaginaBoob ^.^

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Bible Fact0idz: "Something Drink my blood and consume my flesh and live forever something" Jesus- dead age 30something alcoholism liver problems and diabeetus at time of death, crucified and not been seen since, return pending? Classified Alcoholic. Moral: "YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!"

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ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, WITHOUT MY HEART I CANNOT LOVE YOU

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs, who got cancer for Christmas, get for his Birthday? Nothing, he didn't live that long.

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A man walked into a bar. He then sat down and ordered a drink.

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What does it mean if your tv appears floating away in the dark? You had an awesome tv.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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What happened when the zombie walked into the blonde lady convention? He went home hungry.

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What do you call a black scuba diver... A scuba diver.

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Knock, Knock Who's there? Orange That's impossible because orange's can't talk. Oh. It's Jim, I need to borrow your lawnmower.

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Why didn't the boy eat chocolate yesterday Because he was allergic.

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What's ripe and orange? A ripe orange.

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Your mama's so stupid because she has down syndrome.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he suffered severe blood loss and is most likely dead.

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An alcoholic walks into a bar, but then realises he's ruining his family so he calls the rehab

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how big is a black mans penis? idk ask his wife

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A fat guy, well over 300 lbs, goes to KFC and orders a big bucket of chicken. He gets his bucket of chicken and goes to sit down on a table to eat his chicken. A man walks up to him and asks him "are you going to share any of that chicken?" The man says "no."

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Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

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How many babies can you fit in a toilet? To be exact you would have to do all this math, so I tested it out myself and got 7.6.

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roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

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Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

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A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

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9 Cats on a boat. One Jumped off, how many left? 8.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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