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Need therapy? No you do not, just follow these steps. When someone feels suicidal, I ask them, so what would you do and feel when you are dead? People: First I think ill just chill like this, and then everything would be empty and no more noise like this here "holds hands over ears", and it would all just be black and nice afterwards.... Me: Stay in that state for a while. Human: Gee I am starting to feel better... Me: GEE YOU SUCK KILL YOURSELF NOW! 2. How to CURE PERMANENTLY (not treat over 30 years with no effect) someone that cant say no... First I let my victim enter the room, then I shut the door and shout "SAY NO TO ME YOU FUCKlNG WH000RE!" Victim: NOOOOOOO I CANT! Cured, stop wasting my fucking time NEXT 3. SUUUUUUUURE! Me: So you feel uncertain? Patient: Uh yeah... Me: Are you certain about that? Patient: You are just certain about you being certain which is not possible because you are uncertain NOW DIE! PROTIP: Death is the cure to all disease... NOOOOOOOT! (Postmortem disease no?) 4. I forgot this example. Anyway, I say something smart, you give me thumbs down because you are jelly, and then I eat you and I had some jelly.... I master nonsense, I am the jack of no trades and master of all.

A man with a blue house wears a blue shirt and wears blue jeans. Someone from a red house with a red shirt knocks on his door. He is invited in because they are friends and both have a wonderful time.

Mom: Are you going to jump of a cliff just cause your friends are? Kid: You got married to dad cause you were the last lonely whore left of all your friends. And you wanna talk to me about peer pressure. Mom: Go jump.

I guys look at this new game I bought, what is it, it's called penis it's supposed to be toatally hard

roses are red violets are blue i have candy im about to rape you

Why did the man get a tattoo? A: he wanted to express himself.

a black man did not eat chicken.

Fill in the _________ Ans: Cup Posted By: Lram

Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

Why did the boy eat the worm? Because his parents were starving him, and it was all he had.

Whats better than seeing a worm in your apple... Reading the the next anti-joke.

whats worse then finding your mom with your boyfriend? finding your dad with your girlfriend.

The 80's called. They need their couch back.

What did the fly say to the spider? Please, I have a wife and daughter.

Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

Every time you log on to a porn site, somewhere a panda cub explodes. BOYCOTT PORNOGRAPHY. SAVE THE PANDAS.

Vaginas are like? books. You stick your dick in them.

how did the ant die? i stepped on it

2 blondes walk into bolemics anonymous.

Why didnt little Timmy come home? He was abducted into slavery.

When I get aroused I get a solid snake

Jerry Sandusky prefers twenty eight year olds. 20 eight year olds.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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