What shoes keep dogs quiet? Hush puppies.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

ur mum

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What happened to Dave when he walked across the road? He got hit by a car and died... Knock Knock Who's there? Not Dave...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the one alcoholic say to the other? We are both alcoholics

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What can you use a broken watch for? A compass.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

knock knock who's there? rude, interrupting cow rude, interrupting cow who? just kidding, its steve. cows can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's more fun that being raped? Not being raped.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What did the prostitute get for Christmas Money

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do a vampire and a ginger have in common they're both afraid of the sunligh- oh wait this anti jokes ohhhhhhh oh well

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red so are the jews every one loved that holocaust news

thumb_up thumb_down +2

A young black guy was explaining how he was raised by a single mother

thumb_up thumb_down +2

How many of my Dad's "fishing buddies" have gone down to the basement for a "meeting", but never returned? 37 so far. I'm concerned. I seriously have never seen my dad fish. Pretty sure he doesn't own a fishing pole.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Ferrari? A Ferrari was never alive.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call love at first sight? A broken heart.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

While on a business trip, a Jim got a call on his cell phone. It was his best friend. He was informing Jim of his wife's death in a terrible train crash. She didn't die on impact, but her legs were cut off by metal debris from the train car in front of her. She fought against the pain and used a shirt she found from a dead body to stop the bleeding. She managed to drag herself to the nearest road crossing, where someone drove her to the hospital. Despite her efforts to survive and the surgeons efforts to save her, she died that night as a result of excessive blood loss. After he hung up, Jim turned up the ringer volume on his phone because he couldn't hear it very well when it rang.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

canadians

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What do you call a man with no arm or legs lying in front of a door? Idk, but how did he get there, and where is his aid to help him get out of this situation?

thumb_up thumb_down +2

An Irishman and an Englishman are in a bar. Suddenly a wild Dragonite attacks. The Englishman promptly catches the pokemon and continues to enjoy his drink with his Irish friend.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

roses are red violets are blue i just made you remember two girls one cup

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So Helen Keller walked into a bar... and then a chair.... and then a table..

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Why did the plane crash? Cause the pilot was a loaf of bread.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

My kids are mistakes.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what do u call something black and hanging from a tree.............................. a black guy

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops