long in the tooth!

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How do you identify a Chinese tank? They smash their own people.

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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There was a fat man crying. I just told him the local Mc D's was arson attacked.

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Roeses Are Red, Violets Are Blue, My Name Is Dave, Microwave

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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Help, this is an urgent message from the S.S. Obesity. We're sinking; I can't imagine why.

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Why did the mouse cross the road? Because he had been attached to the chicken with a nail gun.

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Why are there so many smiths in the phonebook? Because they all have phones.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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A girl and her family were walking by a cliff. Suddenly - due to a a part of the cliff falling away - her family fell over the edge and died. The girl ran to the bottom of the cliff and saw her family's body's strewn across the rocks, blood everywhere. She didn't have a phone on her and so could not call the police. She called over a man she saw in the distance. He asked "What's happened?". Just managing to stammer the words through her tears she said "My entire family fell off a cliff and died". The man unzipped his trousers and said "This really isn't your day is it love?"

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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who is 2 chainz? no one 2 chains is just 2 chains. spelled with an "s" not a "z"

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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What's the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A bench is an inanimate object and a Mexican is a human being.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops