Q: Whats black white and red all over? A: A dead penguin

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why was the black man killed? He committed a serious crime and was issued the death penalty.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

There was an old lady from Ealing Who had a peculiar feeling She lay on her back Opened her crack And pissed all over the ceiling The old lady then lay in her own waste for over two weeks due to neglect by uncaring nursing home staff. Six months later, a hidden camera documentary on underperforming care homes exposed the abuse and neglect and the old lady went to live with her son and his family. In the early hours of May 14th 2011, the whole family were killed in a house fire that gutted the home and saw fires spread to neighbouring houses. Firefighters say the blaze originated in the spare room and was caused by exposed wiring on an electrical blanket. Forensic experts said that the repeated urination on the blanket would likely corrode the wiring due to the acidic content of urine.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did red say to yellow? Move over orange is coming now.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What happened when the black man approached a dinosaur? Nothing, for dinosaurs were eradicated from the face of the earth 135 million years ago.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

69!!! (its funny cause i made a referance to 69)

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's the hardest part of rollerblading? Telling your dad you're gay.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: Why was the prostitute's mouth sore? A: She had multiple cavities due to poor dental hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because at the climax point in the swing, gravity is making a much larger affect on you because you are pulling farther away from the earth as well as positioning your body in a way where it is awkward and unstable to support your body, which greatly increases the chance of you falling off and landing on the ground.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the KFC man was chasing him.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Q: What's DNA? A: The National Dyslexic Assosiation.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Bill: Hey Scott, do you have the time? John: My name is John, you must have mistaken me for someone else. Bill: Oh. I apologize for the inconvenience. John: No problem. By the way, the time is 3:34. Bill: I don't actually need the time, me and Scott just have this inside joke of me asking the time when we both very well know that he refuses to wear a wristwatch. John: Alright

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Women's rights

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What's worse then finding a worm in your apple? Hearing this joke again.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I peek in your window, Yes, I'm watching you

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What is the name of the mermaid on the Starbucks logo? No one knows, she ran away many years ago of shame. It's undiscovered why.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

A man walks into a bar but didn't say anything because he is mute.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Why did Peter go to the dentist? Because he had to go to the dentist!

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What do you get when you cross black man and a Hispanic woman A child that is a combination of both ethnic groups

thumb_up thumb_down -9

How many law professors does it take to change a light bulb? It would probably be the court janitor who was responsible for that job, rather than the lawyers.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

hi

thumb_up thumb_down -9

yes i can connor, this is brett.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

What did the Polack do in the rainstorm? He got wet.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

what did the woman say when the guy told her he liked her christmas tree? thank you.

thumb_up thumb_down -9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops