Why can you punish cows but not fish? Because you can ground beef, but not fish!

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A 8 year old kid and his dad are having quality time at the park,and relax at a nearby picnic bench after a thrilling game of tag."I love you." says the son. The father about to respond,promptly gets shot by 3 stray military issue assault rifle bullets that came from a heated dispute about a stolen car that got way out of hand. He dies,and the kid ran crying a long distance away. After he gets himself in a dark alley with nobody else around he laughs,and mutters "The plan went perfectly!" He pulls out a detonator and presses it. The White House,Washington Monument,and several nuclear power plants across the continental United States blow up,killing millions of people.The child,also in possession of nuclear bombs, holds the entire world hostage and becomes ruler of the entire planet Earth. Fin.

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Knock Knock? whos there? The man at the door then finds himself thinking what his last name is as he lately got amnesia

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why do you care what a chicken thinks?

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--IT'S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!! --no it isn't. a clock only has numbers 1-12 for hours and 1-60 for minutes. "peanut butter jelly" is not in any of those number sets. what are you taking about?

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Why did the Jew have so much money? He had a good education and therefore, a high paying job.

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Why was a woman not considered in the role for a stunt driver? Because her skill level was not sufficient enough for the requirements.

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A man walks in to a bar, so he got hurt.

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How long does it take a woman to park a car? Shouldn't take long, depends on the size of the parking spot.

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Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? A Mexican is a Mexican and a bench is a bench.

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Why did the boy fall of the swing? Because he had no arms!

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A girl falls out of a tree. She got hit by a flying pig.

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What's worse than a truck full of dead babies? Trying to sell a used truck with dead baby stains all over it.

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"Ask me if I'm a tree." "Are you a tree?" "...no..?"

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for his birthday? a new bike.

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Why did nobody like the famous singer? Because she was Rebecca Black.

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Guess what? Bananas

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An alien, a midget, and a Jew walk into a bar... I forget the rest but your mom's a whore

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A chicken and a horse go into a bar due to an imperative of an earlier joke, they notice that there are flowers on the bar. The flowers are red and blue. They wonder what they could be.

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Why did the guy get glasses? So he could get his dick into the vagina.

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What did lil' Suzy do when she got home from school? She was violently mutilated by a bear then continually but raped by a man she met on the Internet. Needless to say, she had a great time. -Harrison

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One out of every 3 smokers dies.................. the rest gain immortality.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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