What do you get when you throw a bagel at a chicken? One less bagel.

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Why did Sally fall off the tree? I could explain officer. You see, I was jogging and I was looking for my dog and she went on to me and I told her to stop but she wouldn't listen. I'm innocent I tell you! Innocent!

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Q: Why does the chicken cross the road? A: To get hit by a redneck.

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Muslim athletes.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Adolf Hitler. Adolf Hitler, who? Be quiet and hand over your Jews!

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How many immature teenagers does it take to change a light bulb? Ya mum.

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Yo momma is so stupid people make fun of her for her learning disability

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A pigeon walks into a bar. Someone left the door opened.

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What? Chicken butt Why? Chicken thigh Who? Deez nuts

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Why was Diana crying? Because she was penetrated.

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What did the tree say to the other tree?....nothing cause trees can't talk!

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Q: Knock knock Q: Who's there? A: Not Suzie

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What do you call a green blur in the sky? Super pickle?

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What do you call a dozen Muslims waiting to board a train? Passengers...you racist.

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Bob and Joe are talking about how their grandfathers died in the Hulacaust. Bob says "Mine died in the gas chambers" Joe says "Mine got drunk and fell off the guard tower.

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how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

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Two horses were discussing their racing records. The first said, "In my whole life I had won ten races." The second horse says, "Well, I've won twelve of those!" A greyhound trotting by chimes in, "Not bragging guys, but in my career, I've won twenty!" "Unbelievable!" exclaimed both horses. "It's a talking dog!"

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Guy 1: why are you such a douche? Guy 2: cause douches get the most p***y

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What do you call a big group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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If I give you 5 dollars, and you give me 5 dollars, then we both still have 5 dollars, which when combined will equal 10 dollars. Meaning we could buy something that cost's 10 dollars or less. But we should probably also factor in tax, so we should only buys something that costs a little over 9 dollars.

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what does michael jackson do to little boys? nothing, he's dead.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

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Whats the difference between a lemon and an ant? They're both yellow except for the lemon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops