Knock Knock Who's There? Children Protective Services. Your kids are dead.

What do you get when you cross bread an eagle, a wolf and shark together? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure it will kill all of us!

There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

knock knock whose there open the door open the door who just open the door so i can come inside

DON'T LOOK A GIFT HORSE IN THE MOUTH BECAUSE HORSES HAVE BAD BREATH

Why did the chicken cross the road? We are not familiar with the specific circumstances, therefore its difficult to determine exactly why.

what is the diference between my left tit and my right tit .... my right one was cut off because of breast cancer

Roses are red Violets are blue My walls are yellow

What do you call a blonde on anti-joke? Fairly paranoid because of the typical blonde stereotype.

a blond a her blond boyfriend were walking acrossed a river. she gose over the river but the ramp brecks when she's past. her boyfriend says wait until night and I'll get a flashlight and shine it acrossed get on the light beem and walk acrossed.she says no when I'm haf way acrossed you will turn the light off.

A blonde was told to go to the into the nearby swimming pool and sniff the Scratch-and-Sniff sticker on the bottom. Once at the bottom, she quickly realized that it was not a good idea and swam back to the surface.

How do you catch an elephant? Dig a nice deep hole in the ground, and fill it with ashes. Next, line the outside of the hole with peas. When the elephant comes to take a pea, kick it in the ash hole.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 commited statutory rape on a younger 5, gang banged 8 with 10 and 11, murdered 9, and was sentenced to jail for life.... eventually the case was dropped and 7 was let out early for community service. He told 6 he was coming for him 6 months later.... 6 was so terrified he didn't know what to do... he was living in fear... eventually he commited suicide by jumping off a cliff just off the coach of Palm Beach into the pacific ocean. His body was never found His family didnt get to say good bye... This is why 6 was afraid of 7

Getting all F's on your report card isnt that bad.... I mean you could go home to find your whole family murdered and your Girlfriend hanging from a noose.

;iub

Whats worse than bieber fever? A yeast infection.

what is so fun about having sex with twenty six year olds? There is a high possibility their breasts have developed, thus equaling more pleasure for you.

Women's Professional _________

Why is a bulldog so aggressive Because it was raised for dog fights in basements Dog fights aren't right kids, and you should never get involved but if you find yourself in the cage fighting one of the dogs, you should really think about how you got there.

Alice? Childhood Alice? I did not recognize you! Its so nice to hear from you again! I would not worry too much about Nero`s shouting at night dear friend, while he has overcome a lot, he suffers from nightmares and nightterrors, its not pain, not physical at least, please do not tell him I told you, he prefers sparing people the details. Should I type as If I am typing to Nero? Sorry, I am just a bit flustered, Nero has never been the romantic type, not towards me at least... I know the "official chatting hours are over, but can I ask you or rather him to stay on a bit longer?"

Why do hummingbirds hum? They don't realize how annoying it is.

A man has a meeting with his doctor and his doctor says "I have some bad news, you have cancer and you have alzheimer's," to which the man replies... "Well at least I don't have cancer." This is an example of a fallacy claim.

What do you call a bunch of black people buried up to their hair? Afro turf

what's pink and fluffy? pink fluff

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...