A seal walks into a club.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

thumb_up thumb_down -8

OMG this actually works! 1. Hold your breath for 5 minutes 2. Die

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a duck? One leg is both the same

thumb_up thumb_down -8

pee

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What do you call a puppy in alaska? A cold PUPPY!!!!!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his toadstool.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did Suzy Fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Suzy.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Rose are Red Violets are blue I have 5 fingers The middle one is for you.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

why did the women cross the road? she didnt, theres no road in the kitchen.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Why did the elephant fall down? He was shot by poachers.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her in the head.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What is worse than a bee sting? 2 bee stings. What's worse than 2 bee stings? Being eaten by a giant octopus. What's worse than being eaten by a giant octopus? 3 Bee Stings!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Guy1:should I ask this girl out? Guy2:NO!!!!!!! Guy1:????????

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Knock-Knock Whos there? You're about to get shell shocked...

thumb_up thumb_down -8

an athiest walks into a church

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Let me tell you a story kids about Bill. Now bill seemed like any ordinary guy, he had a job a wife kids and he even coached the little league baseball team for boys. Well he had all the kids come to his house to celebrate the championships,they won, and he accidentally killed a kid while trying to hit a pinata. He had to kill the rest of the children to hide evidence so he killed them all quick and buried them in a 6ft. hole in his basement where they lay for 9 years today.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Q: Whats the difference between a pile of dead babys and a Ferrari? A: I dont have a Ferrari in my garage.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

What did the English man say to the Japanese man? Nothing, they were incapable of conversation because of the language barrier created by the fact that neither had one another's language as a part of their curriculum.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

At 1:00AM, an old man is woken up by a knocking on the door. 'Knock knock' 'Who's there' 'An orange' The man opens the door to find a talking orange on his doorstep. The man remembers he has Schizophrenia and goes back to sleep.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

An Irishman walked into a bar, except he would call it a pub, because there are slight differences in vocabulary in different regions, 37 minutes later he walked home safely, fed his cat, read some pages of a book he had been reading, turned the light off and went to bed.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

-Knock knock. ~Use the doorbell. -Ding dong. ~The witch is dead!

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Yo mama's so fat because she has a glandular disorder that makes her fat.

thumb_up thumb_down -8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops