Bob: You need to push harder? Tom: Oh wow what a coincidence, that is what my wife said last night. They laugh about the irony of the situation and then return to the task at hand

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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Q: Why did the plane crash? A: The pilot lacked flying skills and experience.

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Instead of throwing out his garbage, a young boy decided to play a prank on some passersby and left a banana peel on the sidewalk. moments later an elderly woman walked past and slipped on the banana, falling backwards and smashing her head. The young man watched from the bushes as paramedics shook their heads and placed a now lifeless body in a body bag and took it away. The young boy, startled and shocked at what he just saw, tried to run away, but slipped on his own banana peel, falling backwards onto the pavement. The young boy was lucky and survived, but later had to go to therapy for many years to come, the thought of his prank gone wrong torturing him until he took his own life. What is the moral of the story? Do not litter, ALWAYS throw out your garbage.

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What smells like weed? the person who smoked it.

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whats purple, extinct, and smells like children? barney

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If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

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Man 1: HEY DUDE! Man 2: Go shoot yourself

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What do Jews and Sloths have in common? They are both Mammals.

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How do you make a japanese man horny? Mutilate his girlfriend

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What do you say when you walk into an optical? "Hello, can I order a cheeseburger?"

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Camerons hair is Curly..

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What do you call a deer with no legs? Legs in the City

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Why did the first monkey fall off the tree? becuase he died Why did the second monkey fall off the tree? because he was stapled to the first monkey Why did the third monkey fall off the tree? monkey see, monkey do

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Q: What did one muffin say to the other muffin? A: "AAAA! A TALKING MUFFIN!"

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Why did rachels computer break ? Because she was using it in the road and got hit by a bus

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a homeless man walks into a bar, the bartender and patrons treat him nicely, and sympathize for his current situation.

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Im taking a shit right now.

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"Docter, docter, I think I have cancer!" "I don't really care."

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What did the cow say to the other cow? Moo.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a brick at it.

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I killed someone on minecraft.

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Which square is small and yellow? The small, yellow square.

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Whats the square root of pie? Pies are round.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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