Roses are red Violets are blue Peas are green Plums are purple Thieves are black

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Person A said: Knock Knock! Person B could not answer the door as he could not hear Person A's announcement of his or her arrival.

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How do you kill a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

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What would you do if the house you're sitting in now exploded? Nothing really, you would have died a horrible death.

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks what he'd like to drink. The man pulls out his gun, shoots the surprised bartender, and proceeds to execute all the patrons of the bar and finally commit suicide. A post-mortem identification of the man identifies him as a victim of childhood sexual abuse and a diagnosed schizophrenic. There is a nice funeral for all the victims and the media respectfully minimizes exposure of the event.

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Person 1 - Did you know there is only evidents of killer whales killing in captivity Person 2 - tell that to my uncle Pete... He's deaf

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What happens when two black people go into a store with masks on? They buy candy for Trick-or-Treating

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How many people are in the world? More than one. -David Papile

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What did the elephant say to the zebra? Nothing, elephants can't talk.

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What did Stephen Hawking say after he scaled Mount Everest? Yay!

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why was the carrot sad? it was stuck in an antelopes anus

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whats wrose than slipping on a banana? Getting Shot in the face.

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What do a duck and a bike have in common? They both have handlebars, except for the duck.

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what do ninjas and gay people have in common... if you eat them they will no longer be alive

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Are you from Africa because YOU GOT AIDS

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What's black and white and red all over? A penguin inside a blender.

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How do you kill a blonde? You shoot her.

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Why was the Pædophile arrested? He hit his wife.

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I've never seen your mother, so I won't make any vile suggestions concerning her weight.

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How Do you put an elephant in a fridge? Open the door put the elephant in and close the door. How do you put a giraffe in a fridge? Open the door take the elephant out put the giraffe in and close the door. The lion king has a meeting with all the animals but one doesn't turn up, which one is it? The giraffe because it's still in the fridge.

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Why do rabbits have such a reputation for rampant reproduction? Sex feels extra good for rabbits.

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You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

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What's black and doesn't work? My Blackberry, but luckily it was still under guarantee and the situation was solved swiftly and relatively drama free.

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Two guys went into a bar and started drinking. After sometime one guy said to the other, "I love your mother.I want to marry her." The other guy said,"Come on dad,you have been drinking too much."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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