If you have 12 apples and 7 oranges in one hand, and 9 apples and 10 oranges in one hand, what do you have? Very large hands.

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What did the guy say when he found out his girlfriend had a dick I don't think we should date anymore, you have a dick.

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If I was a backstabber, you would have been dead already, without me having anything to do with it in the first place, listen, we cannot change the world, those that control the media, control the world. And our role was the opposite, we wanted people to find their individual selves and put their talents for use for themselves and us, today the media tells people who they are, what they like, and what to eat and wear. None of us can do this, point zero is gone, its simply a matter of time, but if you want to try, I can do what I can, in hopes of delaying the inevitable.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, You like penis, That's what you live up to.

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At least now we know, that most people are not like that, and with that sentence, my desire to see humanity as a whole happy, is dead. Thank you, you have made me realize that for each and every thing positive I have found within myself, I believed that I was simply learning more about how to be an average human being. I admire you, yet as painful it feels not to deny the truth, much of what I admire within you, reminds me of my self. Share that money with me, but as a gift, not as a contract, as a friend, not as someone buying me out, because my values might not be much, but for now, its what remains of the world I sought to create. Let us speak some other time, It was nice meeting you again Red, you always dig your way into my core, where I discover that I am stuck in life because I still sad deep inside, and then you take some of that sadness away.

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Why did the kid throw a clock out the window? The kid was probably having a temper tantrum and it was an expression of frustration.

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Whats worse than not having cellphone service? Having sex unwillingly with a stranger then getting pregnant at the age of 13.

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Q. What has four legs, but can't walk? A. A dog dying of a serious illness...

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? Steve

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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Q: What has two legs and is bloody? A: half a cat

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An Asian walks into a bar and says, "1???????????"

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Q:How come we have a black man in th white house? A: because we elected him

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? Dam.

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I never made a mistake. I thought i did once but i was mistaken

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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What is the same between a turtle and an eagle? They both fly, apart from the turtle.

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did god make asians? I dont know. Yah, me niether

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Did you know that if you get all your intestines, and laid it out across the floor in a line, you would die?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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