"I had angry birds before it was cool." -Alfred Hitchcock

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Have you ever tripped over a leaf? No. Neither have I.

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What is Debbie short for? She has no legs.

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What's wanted by none, wanted by one, and is worse than Terran Hansen? Brooke Colbert. Go you Jesse.

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My Nan, that is all.

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Q: why did Suzie drop her ice cream? A: because she got hit by a bus.. Q:knock knock who's there? A: not Suzie

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A zen master walks up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything." The vendor says, "Sorry, we're out of relish." Then the zen master tells him, "Sir, I don't think you get the joke. As you can see by my long silk robes and fu manchu, I am clearly a zen master. And I have used a pun that would make you think I were asking for enlightenment from a hot dog." The vendor then says, "We don't take too kindly to wise guys here." And then the prick gets up and tosses me into the street!

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Two hippos are in a lake with water up to their eyes. One of them then says, "i keep thinking it's tueday"

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Roses are red, violets are blue, so is my face, I'm constipated

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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Why didn't the man get to see his family on Christmas? He was blind.

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Robert had 30 cheeseburgers and he ate 28 of them. What does he have now? Diabetes.

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"Hey dude, wanna come with me??" "Sure! Where????" "To the gorcery store, I need to buy a couple of lemons."

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Jason's Wife said to him I love you before I left to head to work, Jason then went back inside to see no one was there and he remembered his wife died in 2009.

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Horse with a chair on his head.

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Why cant t-rexes clap their hands? They no longer exist

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Johny got a iphone ipad and a macbook. He bragged to his friend. His friend said, i got an apple.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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How does a black guy die? He doesn't , he's black

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What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

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whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

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How did you know it was bedtime at Michael Jackson's house? When his clock's big hand met the little hand, usually at 10 or 11, though sometimes later if he had a concert that night.

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What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Why did the sheep cry? Because it contracted cancer

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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