A pirate walks out of a bar. He drowns in a puddle.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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what do you call a prostitute with white eyes? emma , with the cloudy iris,

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What did the guy say before he learned how to Dougie? Teach me how to Dougie

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth she has lacked a jaw

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Theres an irishman , scottish man and a welsh man on a plane they where going to france

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If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

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What did the KKK member say to the african american man. Nothing, he just killed him.

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Why did Timmy fall down the stairs Because he is blind and I pushed him

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I'm at a payphone. Though I'm out of change so I'm unable to call my girlfriend and break up with her.

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Rim Ram Ree, Kick him in the knee, Rim Ram Rass, Kick him in the other knee

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What did the sad man say to the happy man? He didn't say anything he was so sad he killed himself.

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What's more fun than thumbing down a shit joke? Thumbing down a shit joke which is neutral previous to your disliking giving it a little negative number.

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Why did the woman cross the road? To welcome the new neighbors.

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Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

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You are so ugly that when u were born, your mom was unable to breast-feed you because she would have to look at your face to do so.

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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A penguin is driving through the desert when his car breaks down. He has it towed to a service station in the nearest town to be repaired. The mechanic tells him that it may be a while so he might want to take a stroll around town, find something to do for a while and check back a little later for an update. The penguin decides that as it is so hot in the desert town, and he is accustomed to a much cooler climate, he might enjoy a bit of ice cream. He walks to the local ice cream parlor, orders a large vanilla cone, and proceeds to devour the treat in a flash, covering himself in ice cream in the process. He has ice cream on his flippers, his face, and all down his stomach; he is virtually covered in the white, sticky goo. Upon returning to the service station to check in on the mechanic and his car, the mechanic say to him, "Well, it looks like the seal on your head gasket leaked, the transmission is shot, and you appear to be covered in ice cream." To which the penguin replies, "Yes, I have made quite the mess of myself. Today just isn't my day."

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An owl and a squirrel watch a farmer walk by. The owl turns to the squirrel and says nothing because owls are not capable of human speech. The owl then eats the squirrel because the owl is a bird of prey.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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Nicole: Shove it where the sun don't shine! Katlyn: I'm richer than you! Nicole: Shut your frickin' mouth! Katlyn: You'll be bankrupt! (This conversation was recorded while Nicole and Katlyn were playing Monopoly. They both died in a car accident later that day...)

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your mammas so fat tha-- my mother is dead. oh... sorry.

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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why did the mexican cross the road? To get into America. Why did the chicken cross the road? It was on its way to warn everyone that the sky was falling Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass. Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? cause he's Chuck Norris. What do you call a man who gets a check in the mail every month for doing nothing? A black man

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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