Your social life.

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A blonde girl walks into a hairdressers and asks for a slight trim. She leaves the hairdressers fairly happy with the result although she was unhappy with the price which she later concluded was most likely because of the rising inflation. However overall she felt it had been a successful outing.

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Three men walk into a bar. They order drinks. This joke isn't funny.

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You know you're drunk when you've spend a significant amount of time consuming alcohol.

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A forty-year-old man forces a young child to strip down and take a shower. The child screams and cries, but the man persists angily. He then carries the child into his bed. The child pleads, "Help! Mom, make him stop!" The mother yells back, "Just listen to him. He's your father and it's past your bedtime." This is a common night-time routine for parents with their first child

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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A man and his wife go out to dinner, after dinner they return home safely and the man kisses his wife good night. He then leaves his house, and goes to a bar with another women. He is a polygamast and it is socially acceptable in his town.

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What's black and white and red all over? Nothing, it is impossible for something to be red all over if there is black and white also.

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Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

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What did the boy with cancer get for christmas? -A haircut

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Yo momma so fat, she's in the hospital dying of morbid obesity. Sorry man.

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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Just admit it. one time in ur life u pretended that the floor was lava and the only way to survive was on the couch.

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What did the coal miner get for Christmas? Black Lung Disease

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whats chinese noodles

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Q:What do you call a black man flying a plane? A: An over-used anti-joke

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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What do you call an asian with a small penis? Whatever his name happens to be.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Poems don't have to rhyme... Refrigerator

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why was the cream sad? he was frozen and turned into a popular dessert

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What do you call a black man with a hammer in his head? Dead.

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What did the priest say to the Atheist when he walked into the church? How are you?

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whats worse than jonny james obviously

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Want to hear a joke? Unequal rights.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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