Why did the cat bite its owner? Because the owner had been dead for several days and the cat was locked in the house with nothing else to eat.

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Drunk, a tweeker and a pot head are walking together when they come upon a huge wall with a large, locked gate in the middle of it. The drunk shouts "lesh shmash it down!" then passes out. The tweeker says "Dude, we should totally take the lock apart and see if there's some kind of mechanism in there holding it together that we can use to build some sort of machine for taking... oh man I gotta crap so bad! Either of you guys gota smoke?" and the pot head says "We should sit here and wait." I didn't say it was a good story

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2 nuns in the bath, One says "wears the soap" the other says "Over there, next to the shampoo"

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What do you call a dead, black child? Dead.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 brutally raped and murdered 32.

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Who ya gonna call? ... Whoever you need to talk to at the current time.

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What do you get when you cross the color pink and pie? A penis ate the answer.

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How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Trick question they cant afford one.

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How do you kill a Chinese hobo Shoot him

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have alzheimer's Roses are red

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lol

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? not finding a worm in your apple, i quite like them actualy

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A blonde, a brunette and a red-head find a mirror with a message on it that says "Stand in front of the mirror and say something you think is true. If it is true, I'll grant you a wish. If it is wrong, you'll be sucked inside the mirror and be trapped there forever." The blonde, who is standing in front of the mirror, says "I think this is a stupid joke." and nothing happened.

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Who has a higher pitched voice than the average man? A woman.

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As I was riding my bike down the road, I saw a young boy being raped in a dark alley way. I proceeded to pedal and acted like i had seen nothing.

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Roses are red, violets are blue! Damn, the florist messed up the colors again!

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Whats the difference between a Corvette and 1000 dead babies? I don't have a Corvette in my garage.

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Why did Sally fall off the swings? She has no arms. Knock knock Whose there? Not Sally, she has no arms

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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"Aids" "What?" "Yup, you just got aids­­­."

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thats the same sound ur mom made in bed last night

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What is the definition of child abuse? Ms Bazan

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A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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