how many baby's does it take to paint a wall? Depends on how hard you throw them

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How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

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how fast does it take to kill a blonde? Give me a gun and i will find out

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Why does Owen Wilson have an ugly nose? Because of his refusal to get plastic surgery.

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Why did the man die? He helped others before placing his own oxygen mask on?

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A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

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How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs floating in the ocean? Bob. What do you call a man with no arms or legs in front of your door? Matt. What do you call a man with no arms or legs hanging on your wall? Art.

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Why was Susie crying? There was a frog stapled to her face.

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Roses are red, Violets are Violets. Screw this poem. Potato.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice T!ts

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A penguin is walking through the snow, and comes across a polar bear with a hat on. He stops and stares at the polar bear for a second and then compliments the polar bear on his hat. The polar bear smiles and promptly consumes the penguin, building up a fat layer for the coming Winter.

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What is black and white and sleeps a lot? A tired zebra.

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What's worse than the holocaust? An open-minded black man.

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Whats worse than a pile of dead babies? A live on at the bottom.

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What dinosaur makes honey? The Bee Rex.

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What is red and ragging? A Hemorrhoid

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roses are red violets are blue clean up that **** or no sex 4 u

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What's the humor in an elevator? Me jumping up and down yelling we r all gonna die.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REDD REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED REED................................that is all LOL

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Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

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What happens when you finish a bottle of Sprite? You finish it

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why did the cow say "moo"? because he's a cow and that's what cows say.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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