Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

how did the doctors try to cure stephen hawking? turn him off then back on again

Why didn't Charlie Sheen lose? Because he's always winning.

A man makes a sandwich.

How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

What did johanne buy when she got pregnant? A staircase

Why is the chicken dead? It tried to cross the road.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? Cancer

What does a snowplow clearing an empty parking lot look like? A horse running freely in a pasture

PENIS :)

s

A boy writes an anti-joke. It is not funny. He sees his friends teasing him about the jokes stupidity. He promptly pokes his eyes out with a dull broom stick. He can still hear his friends mocking him. He cuts his ears off with an industrial meat slicer. He wakes up the next morning and doesnt give a crap about the prior days events. Mainly because he can no longer see or hear.

A police officer asks a witness of a murder what he witnessed. The man replies "A murder"

Hi

why did the kid drop his sandwich? his hand was cut off

"The hills are alive..." Impossible, hills can never be alive.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Irune. Irune who? Irune my life with all this red sand.

my mom died because she was morbidly obese

Whats better than ten dead babys in one trashcan??? One dead baby in ten trashcans.

Why did the Mexican man grow a mustache? It wasn't his choice. Men naturally grow facial hair and he ran out of razors.

Man 1:Doctor Doctor, I've got 59 seconds to live! Man 2: This is a chemist

Why did sally fall off the swing? She had no hands. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not sally.

Q:Why are babies and spaghetti alike? A:They both stick to the wall when cooked.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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