Your Mum Is So Dumb, It Took Her 2 Hours To Watch 60 Minutes.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

what worse than a worm in your apple being kidnapped by hores and eaten alive by rabbits

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's long, hard, and has come in it? A long, hardcovered book.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Rebecca Black walks into a bar she took the back seat

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What's a good joke? Not this one.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did one socially awkward kid say to another socially awkward kid? Nothing

thumb_up thumb_down +18

What did the boy say after he stubbed his toe? Owww! I wanna have sex!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +18

A man and a friend are playing golf one day. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eyes, and bows down in prayer. His friend says: "Wow! That is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You are truly a kind man." The other man replies, "Yeah, well, we were married 35 years."

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

How did the black man start his car? He turned on the emission and lightly leaned his foot on either the accelerator or reverse pedal, depending on the position of the car.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Continents are large islands.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

whats worse then getting fired from your job? Getting raped by a giant gorilla with a 4 foot long penis following by being bitten by a very poisonous rattle snake and slowly dying a painful death.

thumb_up thumb_down +18

Why did the black man have lots of money. He studied hard at school and got into a good university. He dedicated 5 years of his life working relentlessly and getting his diploma in medicine then went on to work in a private hospital as head doctor and neuro surgeon. He was very successful in his specific field of medicine. That didn't work out so after quitting his job and realizing he had wasted over 7 years of his life achieving nothing but lose of interest in his career. He then bought a lottery ticket and won 8 million dollars.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A man works at a brick factory. He is told by his boss that if he is to steal any brick from the factory, he will be sacked. But every day the man steals one brick and puts it in his lunch box to take home and is not caught. One day he has enough bricks to build a house, and he says "When I build this house there will be none left over". The house is now built and while the man is taking a look around he stubs his toe on something, he looks down to see a brick and he sighs, picks up the brick and throws it in the air. There are two pilots driving a plane, one has a dog and one has a wardrobe. One pilot says to the other "I don't particularly like dogs" then the other pilot says to him "I don't really like wardrobes". They then make an agreement and throw both the wardrobe and the dog out the window. Five minutes later one pilot looks out the window out onto the plane wing, and guess what he sees? A brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Guy 1: Hey, do you like fish sticks? Guy2: Yeah. Guy 1: Me too

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

thumb_up thumb_down +16

what did hercules parents tell him? You're adopted

thumb_up thumb_down +16

The Charlotte Bobcats winning more than 10 games

thumb_up thumb_down +16

A lawyer met with his client and said.. well, there is some good news and some bad news The bad news is that you're going to prison for life.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Why is it bad to have 10 blond girls in a closet at the same time? The closet is a very compacted space and one of them is a claustrophobic.

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Three men are all in a car park and they all want the same parking spot. As it turns out, it was a trolley bay

thumb_up thumb_down +16

What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

thumb_up thumb_down +16

a brick cheats on another brick the brick finds out and dose nothing because it is a brick

thumb_up thumb_down +16

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops