You wanna hear a clean joke? Mary takes a bath with bubbles. Wanna hear a dirty joke? Bubbles is a man.

what's the difference between a black man and a bench? the bench is an inanimate object

did you hear about the platypus that was found dead in the middle of death valley?

What did the boy with no legs get for Christmas? A nice sweater.

Where is one place everyone eventually goes to rest? A cemetery.

how can u tell if you have cancer if the doctor says so

A white straight man, a black gay man, and an Asian bisexual woman walk into a bar. They are enjoying their drinks until one overly intoxicated man makes a remark towards the group in reference to their diversity in race, sexual orientation, and sex. The bar crowd is enthused with the drunk man's genius in not only constructing a joke to cover all three categorical descriptions of the group, but in guessing each member's sexuality based on their respective appearances.

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

Why did the white guy sit on the bench while the black guys were playing basketball? His mother was calling, and his AP scores were coming in that day. Those scores were important to him.

What do chinese people eat? Chinese food.

Q: Who wants a chick with big breasts? A: Everyone apparently, because chickens are being genetically engineered that way because people are racist about what part of the chicken then want to eat. The white meat or the dark meat. Guess what? Now they can't walk because they are top heavy. And who's fault is that? The people who only eat the white meat.

A man walks into a bar... The steal bar hurt his face and had to get stitches.

Yo momma so fat she when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

What happened when the dinosaur walked into a lake? It got wet

What do you say to two cows? Hey cows.

one day a white guy was in detroit. it was very strange. nothing happened

A baby seal walks into a club.

Why did the guy in the ferrari stop? -He hit the median at 100mph.

Why did the girl have twins she was raped

How many of amanda todd's frinds does it take to change a lightbulb? Trick question, she doesn't have any

Whats worse than getting a paper-cut? Getting shot. In the head. Three times.

After pursuing a speeding vehicle for 10km at speeds ranging from 120 - 160km/h, the police officer managed to stop the driver. The driver of the vehicle rolled down the window and asked, "What seems to be the problem officer?" to which the police officer replied, "It sounds like one of your cylinders is firing incorrectly, you have a fairly large amount of carbon build-up on and around your exhaust pipe."

What do you call a dog with no wings? A dog

A man walks into the bar and asks the bartender, "Are you smelling me right now?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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