Knock knock Who's there ... Hello? Is there anyone there? (In the bushes) Ha! He'll never suspect us!

thumb_up thumb_down -2

what is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? dead babies dont stick to the roof of your mouth when you are eating them.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why was the man sent to the hospital? He got crushed by a flying refrigerator.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you scare a brunette? Hide behind a door or wall until the unsuspecting person walks by, then jump out and yell.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a black man on the moon? an astronaut.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the guy die? He had a fatal heart attack.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what do you call a attractive blond haired girl who sings songs. pixie lott

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Im a Jew, Fart yourself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man is jogging down the street. He bangs his kneecap into a metal pole and shatters it. He is then hit by a giant cheese wheel and dies.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many alzheimer's patients does it take to change a light bulb? To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -4

1: Knock Knock. 2: Who's there? 1: To. 2: To Who? 1: To whom.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: What's worse than 6 dead babies in a trash can? A: One dead baby in 6 trash cans.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a stupid chicken wandering around.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

When time is the best time to make a wish during the day? 9:11

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? How the hell should I know I'm not a mind reader.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What is worse than getting a bad grade on a test. Having your family dog bled out in front of you, bitch.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man with a mustache enters your parents home to tell them you were kidnapped and taken to the pier 1 hour away. They leave and he goes upstairs to rape you for 1 hour. Never trust people with mustaches.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man sees another man sitting on a bench with a pickle in his ear. He asks the man "Why do you have a pickle in your ear?" The other man replies "What? I couldn't hear you because I have a pickle in my ear."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

69

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A man walks into a bar, and immediately sees a person with a big orange head seated near the back. He asked the bartender "why does that man have a big orange head?" "Buy him a drink and maybe he'll tell you." So the man bought him a drink and asked the guy with the big orange head why he has a big orange head, and he told him this story: "I was traveling in the sahara desert 10 years ago when I found a pure gold lamp in the sand. I rubbed the sand off so I could read what was on the side when a genie popped out and gave me 3 wishes. First I wished for many riches, and at once gold was all around my feet. Exited, I wished for the most beautiful wife in the world, and right in front of me appeared the most beautiful woman I had ever seen. Third, I wished for a big orange head.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So last night I was f**king my girlfriend and I flip her over and f**k her up the ass. Later we're sitting having a cigarette when she says, "you know it was pretty presumptuous of you to think you can just flip me over and f**k me up the ass." And I said, "presumptuous!? That's a pretty big word for a 5th grader."

thumb_up thumb_down -4

GONNA

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the scientist go to the hospital? because he was experimenting with dangerous chemicals, and they exploded in his unsuspecting face. He doesn't have skin now.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Yo mama's so fat, that when she jumped, gravity pushed her back to the floor!

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops