What did the monkey say to the newlywed couple? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Q. why did the skeleton crosse the rood. A. he didin`t becas he had no guts

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Roses are gray Vilots are gray im a dog

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What starts with P and ends with ORN? POPCORN

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Your mom is so fat... That you inherited type one diabetes.

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You're so stupid, you had to take part in special classes in school, and despite this specific attention to your educational development, you've made no major progress.

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Why did the first monkey fall out of the tree? He was shot. Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first monkey. Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? He was mentally disturbed. Why did the fourth monkey fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure

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Q: where was Johnny during the bombing? A: everywhere

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Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs, living in the mountains? A: Cliff Q: What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs, living on the beach? A: Sandy Q: What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs hanging on a wall? A: A victim of a serious crime, where murder was committed and the killer has a sick and twisted mind because he first cut off the man's arms and legs then nailed him to the wall with wooden pegs. Puppies.

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there's a blonde and a brunette jumping out of a plane, what one hits the ground first? they both hit at the same time because gravity pulls everything down towards the earth at the same pace

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Ask me if I'm a car. Are you a car¿ Yes¡

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A Jew, a Catholic, and a Muslim walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What'll you have?" The Jew says, "I'll have a whiskey straight." The Catholic says, "I'll have a vodka tonic." The Muslim says, "I can't drink it's against my religion and I really shouldn't be here."

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No deal, blind trust and I help you, or no friendship, and certainly no reason to help you.

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what looks about a computer which has two wheels? a bike. i lied about the computer...

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Wiggle wiggle wiggle yeah

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Why was the kid hungry? Because he lived in Africa.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Jim Come on in!

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How do you make pie without the oven? I dont kow, go google it.

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How much money did the pirate pay for his ear to get pierced? Nothing, given that he is a pirate. It was probably done at gunpoint.

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What's the hardest part of eating a vegetable? The wheelchair.

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Person 1: "Ask me if I'm a rock." Person 2: "Are you a rock?" Person 1: "No."

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What group of people do the police target? Criminals.

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What do you call a Muslim in control of a plane? A pilot

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My life is a dream in of itself.. inception???

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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