Why did the lebanese man kill his own family? He had cancer.

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What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neil Armstrong was the first man to walk on the moon, whereas Michael Jackson was a singer.

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What happened to the boy who spilled his fruit punch on the president? He was offered a new one compliments of Obama himself.

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Why did Bob fall off the swim? He had no arms or legs.

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What black and white and red all over? A penguin in a blender

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What do you call a Simon with no arms and legs? Simon

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Its alright for you to act like a bitch but its not allright for me to call u one

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Q: What is a laptop that sings? A: A Dell

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What's red, blue & green all over?

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Roses are red violets are blue next thing you know my D*** is in you

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Why did the black boy fail out of high school? Because his grades were bad.

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How do u kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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whats the difference between a jew and a pizza? i know how to make a pizza

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A rooster is sitting on the top of a house. It lays an egg. Which way does it roll? This can be solved by using the dimensions and angles of the roof to find the most probable direction it would roll (Incorporating in the power of gravity of course). Of course if the egg from the roosters uteris came out in an akward or unlikely way, it could roll the other way.This can be factored in very quickly because with the video evidence of the rooster having the egg you can see how it was delivered(the video is not of which way it rolls, just of the delivery).

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Two men are stranded in a structure on an alien planet, they are frightened when they are told that there is evidence of a life form near them, they explore their surroundings and find a snake-like creature that flares what looks like wings, bites one of the men on the hand and wraps its tail around his arm squeezing it until the arm breaks (we see the bone poke through his sleeve and he screams); the creature slithers up his sleeve, into his mask and lunges into his mouth killing him, and the other man is sprayed on the mask with acid and we see the plastic of the mask melt onto his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't. The chicken was ran over before it made it to the other side.

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why did the man die? he had cancer

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There once was a man from Peru, he dreamt he was eating his shoe, he then woke up, took a shower, changed, and drove to work.

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what do you call a man with no legs? An ambulance as he seem to be bleeding very heavily.

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What do you call a man with no arms or legs sitting on a doorstep? Whatever his name happens to be

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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( . Y . )

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An American and Russian are arguing about their country. The American says "I can do things you can't. I can walk into the White House and into the Oval Office. I can bang my hands on my President's desk and say "Mr. Obama, I don't like the way you're running your country." The Russian says, "I can do that." The American says, "No, you can't." The Russian says, "Sure I can. I can go to Vladimir Putin's office and say "Mr. President, I don't like the way Mr. Obama's running his country."

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What did the dog say to his own poop? You gonna eat that?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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