What's the difference between Mitt Romney and a statue of Mitt Romney? The statue doesn't change its position.

what is the differance between a toyata and a van full of dead babies I dont own a toyata

How did the blonde reply to the male man when he asked how she was? "I'm good."

What is white and re(a)d all over? White paper that is dyed red.

Jimmy: Daddy how are babies made? Dad: If i knew how you wouldn't be here...

Just think...there are 7 billion people in the world...so that's 14 billion orgasms!

What do you call a Mexican who likes to eat burritos? A Mexican

Why is Stevie Wonder always smiling? He has flourished throughout his musical career and is a very accomplished man, as he has won many Grammys

Why did the boy have pink skin at night? Because he did not put on a sufficient amount of sunscreen that morning.

What has eyes but can't see? Helen Keller. What has ears but can't hear? A field of corn.

What do you get when lettuce and oranges come together? I dont know, thats why I asked you.

roses are red violets are blue my dick is long longer then you

Why couldn't the towel talk? Because it didn't have a language.

Why did America nuke Japan? Because Japan bombed Pearl Harbor.

A man goes to the store to buy a kitten. While there, he decides to buy two because he is feeling particularly hungry.

A man walks into a bar and is promptly sent out because he is under the age of 21.

What did the boy say to his father? I don't know. With the seemingly infinite number of topics that two people could discuss and the fact that both the father and son are fictional, it would be unreasonable and border edge mentally unstable for me to assume that you would know what they may or may not be talking about.

Q: What is green, has red shoes, exists in videogames and runs really really fast while collecting rings, running trough loops, has a fox sidekick etc? A: Sonic The Hedgefrog. Moral: I was always a bigger fan of Super Fratelli Brothers though...

knock knock who's there? the chicken i just crossed the road to offer you this token of appreciation for helping me screw in a lightbulb

(To the tune of Perry the Platypus) He's a completely retarded Allosaurus of action! A purple dopey dimwit who always giggles away! He never does anything But children's songs he does sing And the little kids squeal whenever they hear him say... *i love you, you love me* He's Barney! Barney the Dinosaur!

What's worse then an adult dying A baby dying

What did the man do when he found a lost dog in his yard? He shot it. This was a very old, lonely, and distressed man with many unresolved problems resulting from his childhood in poverty.

How do you fit four gay on a bar stool? Divide the given space into fourths and convince them to share it accordingly. However, due to the fact that bar stools are significantly smaller than the average chair, and the likelihood that the bar has the resources to provide chairs for all of their customers, it would be highly unlikely that the men would choose be remain seated in such an inconvenient manner.

Your text.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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