Excuse me, I have a shitload of stuff to do, so you are Eliza huh? I thought that was just one person conveying something to someone. Anyway, what is your name? My name is actually Nero, but you do not strike me as an Eliza, first name is more than enough. You know, if you dare, Ill be back shortly, I was gonna shower but then again, I haven't moved at all today, so yeah. Saved you? I have never saved anyone well, excuse me then, see you around, worry less about people bothering with us chatting, hell they might risk learning something (not a chance, people here are fucking jackasses, with one exception, and I do not mean me this time).

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you got Lady Gaga, Taylor Swift, and Reese Witherspoon. Which do you think is more succesful

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Why did the frog cross the street? To make babies

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didnt, he got hit by a bus.

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A jellyfish walks into a bar, the bar doesnt appreciate him, so he retreats back to his jellyfish lands.

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What do you call a magic owl? HOO-DINI!

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why did the kid die? his mom shot him

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why did the blond have a broken nose? because she was brutaly beaten by five rapists when she refused to have sex with them.

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If you have me you want to share me, if you share me you no longer have me. What am I? (a secrect)

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i am writing this because i felt like it.

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Person: Hello Parking Meter! Parking Meter: Hello! The person then backed away in fear

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mitchell palmer sucks

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's house? Neither has he.

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WHAT DO U CALL GINGERS GABRIELLA

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okay so this guy walks into the bar and says DON BE STUPE SHE SPIT GOOD AND EVERYTHIN. why did he say that. BECAUSE EVERYBODY HATES HIS SPIT

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What do you call a woman that is on her period? -A girl that is expirencing a difficult to control flow of blood through the clitorus.

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So lion bites off a mans foot. He bleeds to death.

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If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

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Penis.

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If life gives you lemons, keep them because hey, free lemons

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i said call 911 and they said whats the number?

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Which side of an ostrich has the most feathers? Obviously the outside! Who would be so low educated to even have the idea that an ostrich can have feathers on the inside of it's body?

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How do you get a horse to stop humping your leg? Pick it up and suck its dick.

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What do you get when you cross a helicopter, elephant, and a rhino? Heliphino

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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