Remember how I made you hypnotically cum by poking your own nose last time? When I told you that hypnotic story about the astrologer and the brain surgeon? So you wet yet? Think about how easy its going to be for me when I take out Mr.Big and slap down your coffee table with it, yeah... Feels cozy down there does it not?

thumb_up thumb_down -12

your life

thumb_up thumb_down -12

where does a person with one leg work? anywere

thumb_up thumb_down -12

A frog, duck, monkey and beaver each enter a bar being carried by a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. If your wondering, the redhead carried two animals.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a girl who denies that she is one? Justin Beiber

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the boy say to his friend? "Hello!"

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What's the same about a crouton and a pencil case? Both are used for dirty things, such as shoe tying.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

roses are red voliets are blue u actule thought i would cry over you!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How many friends does it take to catch an owl? One because he was a bird catcher.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats brown and ryhmes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Nero? As In Nero7? Septimus? Where you not killed during the raid? I read you got tortured and killed by your own out of mercy.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? She didn't have any arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the black guy buy watermelon? It was on sale.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats greasy and long? Your moms chesthair

thumb_up thumb_down -12

so a black,Hispanic,chines,white and Asian man walk into a bar and they sat down had a couple drinks and had a good conversation and left as happy as could be

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call your female dog? Your bitch

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock Knock! FUUCKKKK OFFFFFFFF

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What kind of people have fat lips? People who have gotten punched in the lip or have suffered a serious lip injury that has caused their lips to swell up.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

KNOCK KNOCK who's there? hello is anybody there? hello?....... .....the number your trying to reach has been removed please hang up the door knob and put the squirrel back in the lawnmower were it belongs.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why did the woman come out of the kitchen? She didn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the ethiopian give his wife for her birthday? HIV

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What did the boy with no mom get for Christmas? He was beaten by his drunken and abusive father.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Why was the number 6 afraid of 7? It wasn't.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops