did you hear the joke about the lobster and the clownfish? no.. oh.

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roses are red, violets are blue. hey.

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Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

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Nickleback.

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What did the little girl with no arms or legs get for christmas? Nothing, she was Jewish.

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Why can't Johnny ride a bike? Because Johnny is a potato.

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What's worse than having an ugly face? AIDS

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How do you distinguish between an unlabeled carton of milk and an unlabeled carton of cream without breaking the seals? You label them.

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What do andy and Justin Bieber have in common? they are both 5'7

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AWWWWWW YEEESSSS!!!

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Why were the black mans hands all sticky? He was helping orphans with arts and crafts

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What did the serial killer do when his check bounced? He promptly deposited more money into his account.

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Don't believe in Atheists.

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Cause it was stapled to the chicken.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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1234567890? ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ

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A man walks into a bar He goes to drink away the fact that alcoholism is tearing his family apart and that he lost custody of his three-year-old son that same day

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Why did the student cry when he got an F on the test? because his dad beats him.

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What do the Jewish man, the Black man, and Mexican man all have in common? They all miraculously like cantalope.

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Yo momma so fat when god said let there be let he said get the fuck out the way!

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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Three men are on a plane. (Note, that this is a low-altitude plane, in which they are allowed to open the windows) The stewardess offers the first man refreshments. He asks for an orange. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his orange, he throws it out the window. The stewardess moves on to the second man, who asks for an apple. The stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. Also confused, the man complies, and upon receiving his apple, he throws it out the window. Finally, the stewardess moves onto the third man, who asks for a bomb. Without question, the stewardess agrees, on one condition: that he throws it out the window. With no reaction, the man receives the bomb, then throws it out the window. Upon landing, the first man sees a woman crying. With a sympathetic heart, he asks what's the matter. She replies, "I was walking down the street, and an orange came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man brushes the event off as a coincidence. The second man sees another woman crying. Upon asking her what's the matter, she replies, "I was walking down the street, and an apple came from the sky and hit me in the head." The man, confused, apologizes and walks away. The third man sees an officer standing on a street corner and a pile of burning rubble behind him. He asks the officer what happened and he replies "A bomb fell from the sky and annihilated the city orphanage. 214 children were killed and two nearby families of 3 and 6 were severely injured and are now in the hospital with no hope of survival." The man was found dead later that week with a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head.

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Why did the bird fall out of the sky, It hit one of the random green pipes.

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A man visits his doctor for an annual checkup. "Doc, I feel great! I'm running 5 miles a day, I just got promoted at work, and sex with my wife has never been better!" A few weeks later, his doctor calls him in. When he arrives, the doctor looks at him grimly. "I have some bad news. You have lung cancer." "But how? I don't smoke. My wife doesn't smoke. I have never felt better." The doctor pats him on the back, reassuringly. "This may be true, but you still have lung cancer."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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