What did the guy say to the campgrounds? It was in tents (get it like intense but it is a pun)

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What would you do if I ripped your face off? Bleed to death.

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What did the asian do with his homework? finish it. as is expected from children his age.

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How do you get your clock to stop ticking? Hit it with a sledge hammer.

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YOUR MOM SHOT YOU OUT HER ASS!!!

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How do you confuse a blonde? The same way you confuse a brunette or redhead, hair color has nothing to do with an individual's intelligence.

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What do you call a bench full of white people The NBA

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A handless Asian boy was riding his bike through the park with some friends. One of his friends puts his arms in the air and yells "Look! No hands!" The handless boy rides his bike home, crying and thinking about how one day he would like to say, "Look! No hands!" without people getting nauseous.

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What's green and smells like yellow paint? Green paint.

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QUIT PUSHING DAD GUMMIT!!!

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So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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What's long, hard, and contains semen? A submarine.

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Why was the turkey killed? Because this particular turkey lived on a farm and a supermarket was paying the farmer a reasonable price to sell it.

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what happened when a duck flew over the hunter during duck hunting season? the hunter shot at the bird, but fortunately, the hunter was nit very good so the duck flew back to his wife and children by the pond.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Adolf Hitler.

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A: why do elephants paint their toenails red? B: why? A: so they can hide in cherry trees B: I don't get it A: have you ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? B: no... A: exactly

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What do a plum and an elephant have in common? They're both gray, except for the plum

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what did the clock say to the other clock? .. were both lawyers!

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Why did Sally drop her ice cream cone? She got hit by a bus Why was Billy laughing? He was driving the bus Why did Bobby drop his ice cream? Billy put the bus in reverse Why was Johnny crying? Sally and Bobby stole the money from his bank account and now he is poor and homeless

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Roses are Rose, Violets are Violet.

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long in the tooth!

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why did the chicken cross the world becuase he had to go in the bathroom

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Whats worse than a mother of 3 children, jumping off a bridge, smashing into the metal roof of a large car and dieing on impact? A mother of 3 children jumping off a bridge, smashes into the metal roof of a large car, survives,, becomes paralyzed, and has to explain to her children, why she is in a wheel chair for the rest of her life.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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