Why did the giant frog attack the party goers with a ballistic missile? oh where tos tart...it's, just such a long story, I don't really know where to begin, in fact it's probably better if you just take my word for it, no need to go into details. we just don't have time for that now.

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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Three french men are in the car wearing sombreros. They're trying to get to Disney World.

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Hahahahaha your nan had HIV and died.lol

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What do silly people in a monastery say? stop munkying around.

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Why did the kid poo his pants? Because he was Matt Daly

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guess what the clown said to the kid... im a clown

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My name is Jeff

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Did you hear about the kidnapping? Well you should be very concerned because he hasn't been found in 4 years.

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How many baby can u fit in a cup? A: it depends how strong ur blender is How do you get them out? A: tortilla chips

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What do you call a bunch of white people walking down a cliff? Avalanche

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What do you call a teenager who cant add? A Total Failure

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What's in a bag of dead babies? Dead babies and one alive baby eating it's way out.

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The movie starts off with Tom Cruz jumping out of a plane. He hits the ground and dies, end of movie. - Cole G.

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What do you get when you cross a confused man and an anti-social woman? I don't know, go away.

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A dyslexic man walked into a bra.

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What did the teenage girl get for her birthday? Pregnant.

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I am Asian, I've seen the color blue, but God made a mistake, Asians are taller than you.

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A little boy walks up to his father and asks him a question, "Daddy, how are babies born?" His father then replies in an enthusiastic manner, "You see, I stuck my dick in your mom's vag and started pounding. Apparently two condoms defeat the purpose."

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"One day this man walks out of his house to go to work. He sees this snail on his porch. So he picks it up and chucks it over his roof, into the back yard. Snail bounces off a rock, cracks its shell all to ****, and lands in the grass. Snail lies there dying. But it doesn't die. It eats some grass. Slowly heals. Grows a new shell. And after a while it can crawl again. One day the snail up and heads back to the front of the house. Finally, after a year, the little guy crawls back on the porch. Right then, the man walks out to go to work and sees this snail again. So he says to it, 'What the f uck's your problem?'" -Training Day

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I hope you shut the others down before you called me by my name, otherwise this will convo will get fairly short.

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A chicken walks into asda/walmart The person at the counter says: "What can I get you?" The chicken says: "Cluck"

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What's worse than getting dumped? Being molested by a crazy hobo

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to his mother's funeral.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops