Why did the Jew cross the road? After looking both ways many times, repeatedly, to make sure there was absolutely no element of possible danger, he concluded that his best option was the cross the road.

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A man has had too many beers late at night. The bartender says "Sir, I'm going to have to cut you off"

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How do you make a clown sad? Brutally murder his children.

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How do you get a cat out of a tree? You throw a rock at it

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Steve Jobs Died today. So did 56 million other people.

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What's worst then finding a worm in your apple Eating it.

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's dead

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what do you get when you combine an astronaut, a microwave and a bathtub? A suicide investigation

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ur dug has tits <3 from Alec Bamford xxxxxxxx<3<3<3xxxxxx QAHS 4life

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Why din't Santa come to Timmy's house? Timmy died 6 months ago. :(

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When life gives you carrots, don't make carrot juice, because it's gross.

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Hey dude ask me if im a tree!? Are you a tree? No?

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Q: Where's the cheese? Who ate the cheese? A: How do you know it's been eaten because it's gone? Are you making the assumption that food that has disappeared was eaten because that is usually how food disappears? I am filing a lawsuit against you for your malevolent foodism.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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whats two naked people in a bed? too much information

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What color is the white cup? It's blue because it has two handles.

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What do you get when you cross a spoon and a fork? A spoon crossed with a fork.

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Why did Madona rub shit on her vagina? Because she was horny.

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Youre mom is so dead...

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if you have hair on the palm of your hand you might want to get that checked out

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Q: why was the girl so dumb A: her teacher was a blond

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: Because his work office was there and if he had not crossed, he would have had to get back in his car and parked in the company parking space therefore taking more time and costing a small but significant amount of money

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops