A farmer has 17 sheep standing in a field and all but 9 drop down and die. How many sheep are left? It doesn't matter. A CIA sniper guns the farmer down, along with his family and the remaining sheep. The other agents move in and remove all evidence that the government is experimenting with a new nerve agent.

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A guy walks into a bar. But it was a solid steel bar and suffered severe wounds and a concussion. Lucky for him a bystander saw this happen and called 911. The man was transported to a hospital where he eventually made a full recovery and returned to work after one year.

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What's the difference between a black man and a gorilla? One is a black man and the other is a gorilla.

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What do you get when you cross a cat and a dog? an email from PETA

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Things to do get an A on my test win my hockey game become immortal well that escalated quickly

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Wanna hear a joke about a baby with AIDS? It never gets old.

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why does beyonce sing to the left? because it has a catchy tune

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What was the motto of the Holocaust? Yolo.

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four score and seven years ago. . sharks with frickn laser beams attached to their FRICKeN HEADs.

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What is small, green, lives 10 meters under the ground and eat rocks? The little green rock eater!

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My name is Jeff

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If this becomes top-viewed I will post more milk related jokes

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Hey Jew. What? Shut up.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side which would be a incontrovertible (obvious) decision.

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What do you get when Johnson cooks toast? Shit toast.

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Why did the gorilla fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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i tried logging into my ipad. turns out, it was an etch a sketch, and i dont own an ipad. also, im out of vodka.

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How do you get a man out of a box? Blow the box up

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A girl talks to here boyfriend about collage. What is his responce? Nothing. No one talks about college.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Reclu. Reclu who? Recluse Spider.

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A woman was struck and killed by a truck as she crossed the road. Who's fault is it? The woman's, if she hadn't left the kitchen, she would still be making me sandwitches...

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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I remember this one time... I was sleeping... And all of a sudden... I woke up... Yeah.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops