Q. What's the best thing to do before you get in a car accident? A. There's actually not much you can do in a car accident, considering you probably will never expect it, and it happens relatively too fast to react.

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I'M JOSH BROWN!!!!!

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"Knock Knock" "You know the doorbell is working?" "Oh, well, you know I'm here now. May I come in?" "Yes, have a cup of tea"

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If humans say YOLO what do cats say? meow.

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"Torture the orphans as much as you want. Who they gonna tell? Their parents?"

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What did the tampon say to the other tampon? Nothing, they were both stuck up bitches.

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What do you call a guy eating a sandwich? Whatever his name is.

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I went to the doctors the other day for a check up and the doctors says to me "sorry your going to have to stop wanking" and I say to him " what! Why?" and the doctor says "I'm trying to examine you".

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how many horses does it take to piss on a cat 17 beccause rape isnt real in somalia

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Why doesn't a chicken wear pants? Because, there are no tailors in the area who make pants suitable for chickens to wear.

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What does a black man and a monkey have in common? Until February 3rd 1870 neither could vote in America. Monkeys still can't. 

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You smell just like a black person. With your nose.

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What's more exiting than watching football Escaping through the underground railroad

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What did the man get from killing his own wife and children? A boner.

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Why did Romney loose the election? Because Obama had more votes

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Why did the plane crash? Because something was wrong with the engine

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Whats worse than spilling ketchup on your shirt? Getting hit by a bus

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why was the old man on the ground he fell

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When life gives you lemons.... Impossible life is not a person nor a dispenser of lemons.

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Some people are like Slinkies: they don't work as well as they say they will and you'll get bored of them quickly.

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Q: Why did the Jew fit in with the White people? A: Because he, and his compatriots, have accepted the view of Judaism as a religion, and perhaps a lifestyle -- but not a race.

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How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagon? 2 in the front seat, 3 in the back.... and that's it because the holocaust never happened.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a brunette? The pigmentation of their hair follicles.

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what did the ox say to his son when he left for collage? bison

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops